How do you Deal with Nosy Neighbors?

  • While my fourth child is a late walker, both my pediatrician and I are not concerned. He cruises everywhere, but doesn't feel the urge to walk. My neighbors, however, are constantly making me feel like there is something wrong with him. They always ask why he isn't walking. How do you deal with nosy neighbors and others' opinions about your children?

  • You've done just the right thing by getting your child evaluated by his doctor.  I would be brief, straight to the point, and limit your emotional involvement in your response.  So a simple, "I appreciate your concern, we are working with his doctor about that very issue, I'll let you know if I have questions though." or something like that.  Just a straight: "thank you but not thank you". 

    Let us know how things are going.

    Take care,


  • It drives me crazy when people feel compelled to comment on issues like yours. I just tend to say something along the lines of, "He's doing just great - thanks for asking". Usually if you say it with a clipped tone and change the subject right away, people tend to get the hint that this is a topic to stay away from. If they don't get the hint after that, you may need to just tell them outright that it's under control and you don't really need to discuss it with them.

  • People can be so annoying! I have to bite my lip in similar situations because it always seems like the neighbors don't make the comments out of concern for your child, but to dig dirt on your kids for the neighborhood coffee klatch!

  • without knowing how old your child is, its hard to say if they are being nosy or if they are genuinely concerned i guess.

    I understand very well though - my son is 2 1/2 and he doesnt really talk all that well.  He does not say sentences and i have known 2 year olds that can hold conversations.  I can't tell you how many people ask me if i have had him evaluated for Autism...but there in lies the cavet.

    I had no idea that not talking was a sign of autism and it made me get online and do some research and talk to my doctor and also talk to a friend whos son has been dignosed with a mild form of autism.....

    So, while your neighbor may be nosy - take it with a grain of salt and concern - you never know when a persons concern or noseyness might actually provide you with some information or get your own wheels turning. 

    And if they keep putting their nose into it - just say "thank you for your concern, I have already involved my doctor and our child is developing in a normal fashion".....


  • You're right Nezwukla, sometimes other people can aim light on something that may be wrong with your child. Sometimes we are too close to them to really see the 'early warning signs'. Now he is 2 and running all over the place, so we are thankful! How is your little boy doing?