Need help.......

  • I need some advice......I have a three year old daughter who will be four in Feb. and I also have a four month old son. Since i have had the baby its been hard to spend time with my daughter. She seems to be acting out more and she is potty trained and use to do very well with sleeping at night without using the bathroom in the bed. Here lately though she is having more accidents during the day and has gone back to wearing a pull-up at night. She goes to head-start and i ask her teachers if they have any trouble with her or if she has accidents there and they say no. Its only at home. I need help what can i do to get her back on track and so i can spend more time with her so she don't feel like i have just pushed her to the side. 

  • Dixie_mama24-

    It sounds like your daughter is having a rough time being a big sister.  It is a huge change having a younger sibling.  Some children love being a big brother or sister, and some struggle.  From what you describe this sounds very behavioral, however, I would like to suggest that you take her in for a visit with her doctor just to make sure.  Children who were previously potty trained can start having accidents for a variety of medical reasons, for example, if they have a urinary infection or are struggling with some constipation.  So-it's important to make sure everything is healthy.  After it's decided that it's behavioral then it may help to try a few behavioral tactics:

    1-Sticker charts are HUGE at this age.  I would create some sort of sticker chart so that when she stays dry all night for example, she gets a sticker.  After so many stickers she gets a reward that you two agree on at the initiation of the chart.

    2-Besides the sticker chart a lot of positive reinforcement is important.

    3-Downplay accidents.  When she has an accident, don't make a big deal out of it, simply help her get clean, dry and changed and move on.

    4-Agree upon some time everyday which is her special time with you or her daddy.  This is time that is set aside and is top priority to not have it interrupted.  For example, from 10-10:30 is mommy and me time and from 7-7:30 is daddy and me time.

    5-Postively reinforce to her how important her job as a big sister is.  Remind and point out things that only big girls can do, and babies cannot do.  Positively reinforce all good interactions that she has with the baby.


    I'm hoping that is enough to get you started.  Let us know how things go!


  • It is a hard situation, but just keep reminding her how much you love that she is a big girl. When you change the baby's diaper, make comments like..."I am so glad you are a big girl and I don't have to change your diaper anymore". Try to put the baby down and spend one on one time with her doing "big girl things" making cupcakes or playing dress up. When she is doing these things with her, remind her how happy you are that she is your special big girl. 

    In addition, involve her in the baby's care and let her feel like she has a special place as his big sister. This may help her make the transition to being a big kid. Let her put lotion on his feet, help you give him a sponge bath, or put his booties on. 

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!

  • try scheduling 30 minutes daily with your daughter .try when your baby is sleeping . try doing things she enjoys like playing with favorite toys or walks,then incoporate things she can do like picking night clothing for baby so she feels she is truly a needed and loved member of your family.hope this helps. good luck,