babies close together.

  • I am going to give birth to my 3rd child. My first two are nine years apart. My middle and third child are going to be 18 months apart. My daughter is a mama's girl. I ask her if she wants a baby sister and she simply says no. I am afraid the my middle child will be aggressive with the baby. What is the best advice to introduce a baby to a almost two year very hands on child.

  • My best friends daughters are very close in age together.  They are wonderful friends to one another.  One major thing that you can do is model, and have your older child also model being careful and taking good care of the baby.  Then positively reinforce any little thing your younger daughter does when interacting with the baby.  It's often helpful for that middle sibling to have a baby doll to care for as you care for the baby.  She can feed and hold her baby doll as you do the new baby.  Another helpful thing to do is to make a big deal out of her being a big sister, and how important it is to be a big sister.  Lastly, spend some special time with the middle child...let her know how important she is to you and that, her being loved and important won't change-no matter what!

    Let us know how things are going,

    Jess

  • When the baby is born, make sure you take the time to spend with your middle child. Let her know that you love how big she is getting and how independent she is! Then make sure you get her involved with her little sister's care. Make a big deal about how special it is to be a big sister and let her put lotion on the baby's feet, pick out her clothes for the day etc. You can also get her a "big sister" gift....the best one is a real life feeling baby doll. Then you can play "baby" with her and let her know that you are both "mommies" ! She may like that type of bonding with you....Good luck!

     

  • I'm sure you'll do fine with making sure you spend equal amounts of time with your children and showing them you love them. I come from a HUGE family... I have 6 brothers and 3 sisters if you can imagine it. somehow my parents managed to juggle all of us. most of us are pretty close together. the closest being me and my little sister. we're 13 months apart, and best friends. I'm sure everything is going to work out just fine, it's one of those things you kind of figure out as you go. 

  • Just to echo what other people have said - the baby doll idea is a great one. Have her do the same tasks as you with her baby doll. Get some books from the library and begin introducing the idea of a new baby at home and how you treat it. With some coaching and reinforcement, I think you'll be able to control how she responds to the baby more or less. Congrats on your third! 

  • Just wanted to check in with you to see when you are due? 

  • I have three daughters and they are all withing 3 1/2 years. The key for us is that we always try to have special days where we take one of them alone with us to dinner or to a special place to play etc. Somehow children manage to adapt. We worried like you, but they seem to be able to cope on their own when it's impossible for us to show them all individual attention. Not sure how parents with 10 or 12 kids are able to do it though!

  • well for my family my brother, sisters and i relied more on each other than our parents. They would get season tickets to the indianapolis zoo and childrens museum as an inexpensive thing to do throughout the summer... we did tons of outdoor activities like baseball.... (we could almost make a full team on out own).  As a parent i know i'd feel awful if i couldn't spend as much time with my children as i felt i should, but being one of 10 i know that children are very resilient and will start to depend on each other for extra support if needed. That's not to say that one on one time with parents won't go a long way though.

  • mombuitrag-

    Its been a bit since you posted and I wanted to see if you have further thoughts or questions.  Let us know how we can support you!

    -Jess

  • So far I has gotten better. I have been using her stuff animals as babies and she does tend to hold them different now that i tell her they are her babies. We will see if a few weeks how it all turns out.

  • My closest are 13 months apart so I undertand.  Make what you do with the new baby fun.  Ask your middle to help.  Have them get bottles, blankets, toys ect...  Make sure that you still make good time for your middle child so that they know you have not forgotten them.  It is hard at first but it gets better.

  • mombuitrago-

    I am so glad to hear that things are going well for you and your children.  I hope that you will keep us in the loop as the date of birth draws near.

    Thinking of you and family!

    -Jess

  • Lovefamily6-good advice! Hopefully you and Mombuitrago can help each other out! :-)

  • I am glad that things are getting better.  I think the animals are a great idea.  Mine are 5, 3, 2 and 4 months.  When we found out about our 4th we would ask our daughter all the time are you ready for a sister?  Her answer was always NO!!  Now that the baby is here she is like another mother.  My son who is 2 is a bit aggressive with the baby, but she is a tough girl.  Babies are stronger than you think.  :)  With our 2 year old we try and let him hug her and hold her, with help.  We try to explain that babies are little and we have to be sweet.  Also know that a lot of times they are not tring to be mean they just want them to play and they might not understand that they are being rough.  Showing them how to be gentle helps.  Keep us up dated on how things are going.  Wish you nothing but the best.  When are you due?

  • Hi Everyone,

    I am sorry I have not replied. I have been busy with my new baby that was born sooner than expected. I was given the original date of July 12. About two weeks ago the date changed to July 4. My baby girl decided to be born sooner than that June 23, 2012. It has been a interesting and hard on my 20 month old to adjust over night. She means well she likes her baby sister but she does not understand she can not hold her to tight in the same manner she holds her babies(toys). Plus my 20 month old is super energetic and my new born is very laid back. But thanks everyone for the advice it has been helpful. I am just taking it a day at time. My 20 month old has been caught with the babies bottle, and pacifier lol.