How to gently tell 3 girls we are having a baby....

  • My husband has 3 girls who do not live with us all the time. At this time they have no clue that we are pregnant.. it was hard enough trying to tell them that we were getting married since we do not see them often. How do we gently break the news that a new baby will be here in November without rocking the boat.... any advice would be great! 

  • I'm not really sure how you can break that sort of news with out having some sort of emotion. I'm guessing that since you want to break the news gently that you're not expecting a welcoming reaction from the girls. I think that if it were me i would speak with the parent that they live with on a regular basis and let them know first. That way they can pave the way and make it easier for the children to absorb the news of a new sibling. For them i think that I would take them swimming to put them in a good mood first and so that they can get a handle on just how much they enjoy playing with each other. Then over lunch i would casually ask what they would think about you giving them a new little brother or sister to play with... then take them shopping and let them each pick out something special for the babys room, or let them help plan the theme, or let them give suggestions on the babys name... Maybe let them agree on a selection of names you picked for the baby. the biggest thing i think is making sure they feel like they are involved with the planning of the new baby so it seems to them like they had a part in the decision to bring the baby into the family. Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to the site! i hope all goes well with breaking your news.

  • You need to tell them the news and realize that they may have different emotions than you think. Tell them in a positive and upbeat way and don't give them the impression that you think they might feel anything other than excited. Kids have a way of rising to the occasion. If they aren't thrilled, allow them time to get adjusted to the news and to the baby. Involve them in some of the fun planning like picking out the crib etc.. and let them know how excited you are to be making a family with them. Make sure they feel involved and a part of the family and not like they are being replaced. Good luck..most little girls love babies so they should be fine!

     

  • ddcundiff1-

    I love the advice that you have gotten so far in regard to telling the older children.  I think that being upbeat, but realistic that they might need time to adjust is key.  I think it's also very important that they know that they are important to you and dad and that having this baby will not change your love for them.  Arranging special time for them may also help.

    Let us know how things are going!

    -Jess

  • How are things going? Did you tell the girls yet? How did they react? We'd love to hear your story!

  • Congratulations... how did letting them know go? I think your experience would be a great help for future parents in a similar situation. Best of luck!

  • So we have told one out of the 3 so far... the reason being with everything going on right now we aren't quite sure when the right time is... we are thinking possibly in August when everything in court is done...but the one we did tell was excited. I had to get an ultrasound done rt extreme cramping and they gave us the pictures of the baby from that..so we showed her the ultrasound pic and told her that she was going to be a big sister... she was excited about it...now the other 2 I think will be too but we are going to tell them then let them help us pick out clothes because I got rid of ALL my nb-24mo girl clothes last summer.... so shopping time it is :D will keep everyone updated 

  • I'm so glad that things went well with the first kiddo!  Keep us posted on how you are doing and how it goes with the other two,

    Jess

  • Aww, glad you got off to a good start with one of the girls. I have a feeling the other two will be just fine. :-) I like how you are including them in the process - that always seems to help when they know they are going to included and not excluded because of the baby. :-) Congrats!!

  • I am so glad the first one responded so well---It is hard to imagine anyone not being excited about a new baby coming! Good luck on telling the other two!

  • It must have been such a relief to receive positive feedback from the first girl... Hopefully the other two react similarly! Great news!