Sibling Rivalry—is it Good or Bad?

  • My kids are all very close in age and sometimes there is a little sibling rivalry between them. I don’t want them to fight or argue, but maybe a little competition is a healthy thing? What do you think—is sibling rivalry good or bad? – Bonnie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • I think that it can be a good thing so long as it levels out to where all of the kids win some and lose some. They should know what it feels like to  meet their goals and have accomplishments and to not always be the one on top. I think that our society has become too sensitive with making things equal with no winners or losers. I'm a firm believer that winning boosts self confidence, and losing can do so much more. It can teach a person to try harder and strive for more. being the "loser" can teach a person how to treat the loser when he/she is the winner.

  • I think that Brinny said it perfectly!  Esp. the piece about kids needing to have the lesson that it is ok to win and it is ok to loose!  That is a lesson that seems to be fading and it's really important.  So far as sibling rivalry-perhaps painful in the moment but normal, so far as harm is not caused.

    Ahh growing up-not always easy,

    Jess

  • I guess each situation is different, but it is very hard to control! Kids will react how they will react so managing their response to winning and losing is the more difficult part. Great advice here, and the dynamics of any family are different in every household.

  • Brinny, you have a very nice comment. Upon reading your comment I also learned from it.

  • Thanks for the advice guys! While it is hard to hear them fight and I naturally want to step in and correct the situation, I have been trying to back off and let them resolve the problem on their own....doesn't always work, but sometimes it does and that is nice!