Help! My Son Feels Left Out

  • My 4 year old constantly wants to do what his big brother and big sister are doing. Trouble is, he is much younger than them and can’t always tag along or do the things that they are doing. How do I prevent him from getting his feelings hurt all the time because he feels constantly “left out”? -- Bonnie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • Poor boy. If i remember correctly he is the same one who was having pretty much the same issue before with not being able to play the same games as his older siblings right???... I think what i would do is make sure you have some "SUPER COOL" activity hidden away that he can do and they can't do. Maybe something along those lines might help him feel like he has the upper hand on having fun. also maybe take him to do some super fun things with his other siblings like an activity like Lazer tag, or going to an arcade, or maybe even bumper cars (obviously a parent should be in control of the vehicle).. or even take him to a sports even where he can do something awesome like meet a player or two and get autographs. 

  • I also wonder about activities that his older sibs can do with him...special little/big brother time.  Set this time aside as special time for him.  I think this is hard and has been for many kiddos in years past no matter what you do.  It's part of being the little brother or sister.  I agree with Brinny that anyway to build is special time up is essential!


  • Thanks for the tips...I have been encouraging them to play games with him and be mentors for him.

  • I'm not at that age yet, but I'd say try including him in things you do. Like if you know they're going to do something he can't, be like "want to come help me make dinner/do dishes/laundry/etc" make him feel special like mommy's little helper. He'll feel proud that he helps you and you'll get help. Try and include him in little things, or if you can take him on walks just you two or play outside. You can also do family things all together that he can do to. Like hide and seek, or a scavenger hunt. arts and crafts. I don't know how old your other kids are and they'll probably think some of that stuff is dumb, but you can always try. and I know there are sites that can give you a lot more ideas. I hope this helps!

  • Awesome MommyRN4, keep us posted!


  • Maybe you could arrange for him to hang out with another child his age when his siblings do something else. Or maybe you could do something special with him so he doesn't feel left out. Making sure there is family time often is helpful too.