Jealousy or terrible toddler stage

  • I have an almost 17 month old daughter and I am 7 months pregnant. My daughter is refusing to sleep through the night. Last night the only way I could get her to go to sleep was to allow her to sleep on me while sleeping on the couch, I was not comfortable at all (toddler sleeping on my very pregnant belly) and she is glued to my side when she is awake. It has only recently become a problem, three weeks ago she slept all the way through the night and was  independent. Do you think its just terrible toddler stage or do you think its more a jealousy issue (I am having another girl) and do you have any tips to help out?

    Also are there any tips to get her to be less tied to me? I know she loves her mommy but seriously its gotten to the stage I am never without her unless I am work. Might be TMI but I can't use the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed, eat, cook, mow the grass, check the mail, etc... without "my shadow".

  • OMG!!! I think we have the same daughter LOL!!! My little girl is EXACTLY the same way. She is just now 17 months and goes through spurts of sleeping through the night and then will go through spurts of waking me up through the night and i wind up on the couch with her until i can get her to sleep through the night again. I have to mow the lawn on the weekend so her dad can watch her (they spend much of that hour watching mommy outside), if i didn't take a shower with my daughter i wouldn't get one... Literally everything you mentioned i am going through also... so atleast take comfort that you are not alone. I have noticed that with my daughter her sleep issues usually are caused by growing or teething..  anyway i'm interested in the answers here as well. I hope for both out sakes someone can enlighten us with a useful idea.

  • I'm thinking it could be molars coming in or possibly an ear infection. You might want to take her into the doctor if she seems extra cranky or just not right. If all is well and she checks out medically, then she may just be more aware of herself now and when she is waking up she realizes that she misses you. You could try a night light if you don't already use one.

  • I took her to the Dr and she checked out perfectly normal and healthy. They didn't say anything about teething though. She has a dream light which she knows how to turn on and off and her daddy thinks its night terrors, that may be waking her up. I really have no clue though.

    Brinny: Its nice to know that Melody isn't alone in this behavior.  I am sorry you are having the same issues...


  • My daughter, now 3, went through the same stage. She wouldn't even be satisfied staying with her dad, it had to always be mom. My advice is to be considerate of her feeling but also enforce a boundary. Use positive reinforcement for the positive things she does, no matter how small. Like standing outside the door while your in the bathroom, watching you from a different room, ext. I also made small changes. I would take a 30 min bath where she wasn't allowed in the room, on weekends I would leave the house for 30 minutes. Then slowly I would increase it to an hour, then 2, and so on. As for the night troubles you can try to give her something of yours. Tell her its important to you and to keep it safe. That way she feels like she has something important of yours and a comfort item when she misses you. I also did a reward chart that worked like magic. I made a chart and after every night that she slept through the night she would get a sticker. After 7 days she was rewarded with a special treat. Have her help decide that something special so she can really want to earn it at the end. Good luck!!!

  • I forgot to mention to try and get to the root of the issue. I found out my daughter does not deal well with change. And to this day I can expect trouble whenever there is as change at home. Whether it be additions to the family or different work hours for my husband, even habit changes. Best of luck. Be patient. 

  • Change is hard on many people-adults and children.  The other thing that is important to keep in mind is that it doesn't matter if it's good change or rough change-our bodies and our minds often react with the same stress response.  One thing that is very helpful is keeping as much structure as you can to her day/night.  So consistent meal times and bed time.  Bath routines, bed routines and play routines.  This will help assure her that even though some things are going to change she will be ok.  Let us know how things are going,


  • It could be both. I don't really know how to help. I have a son (15 months old) who likes attention from me more than anyone else, but he isn't like that. Sometimes if I just sit on the floor with him he will play by himself. I think me being more on the same level with him helps. He isn't really old enough to understand that I am pregnant (and due any time between now and August 16th). I think he may be jealous once his sister is born though.