Preparing a 14 month old to be a big sister...

  • My daughter is 14 months and I'm expecting my 2nd daughter in 2 months. I'm struggling with how to prepare my 1st for the coming baby. She loves being around other kids now, but I fear with she doesn't have mommy to herself 100% she isn't going to cope well. My husband does his best to help, but she really clings to me right now...

    Does anyone have suggestions?

  • This is a tricky oldest was 19 months when we brought home his little sister. It was pretty smooth sailing and here is what I did.

    I read him a few books about becoming a big brother and talked with him about the baby in mommy's tummy. When she arrived, I made sure to include him in her care. I let him rub lotion on her feet and let him help me bathe her when appropriate.

     The best thing to do is to give her lots of attention after she arrives. Let others hold the baby so you can snuggle with her and read her stories. Try not to disrupt her routine because of the baby...this will calm any fears she has about the baby "taking her place". Hope this helps

  • You never know how a child will react to the birth of a new sibling. You may feel as though she will not handle it well, but once the baby is born, she may cope surprisingly well. Until your daughter is born, I agree that reading books about the brothers and sisters and new babies in the home is a great way to introduce your child to the fact that she will have to share mommy with a little sister. Once the baby has arrived, make sure to include your daughter in your infant's care, such as asking her to get a diaper, sing to the baby, or get a pacifier for the baby when she is crying. This way, your daughter will feel included, not excluded. Congrats! I bet your older daughter will be just fine!

  • In February, we had our second daughter, 17 months after our first. We had the same fears as you did, but you are going about it the right way. It is impossible to tell how she will react, but she will eventually adjust. At times, the thought of your daughter feeling neglected affects you more than it will affect your daughter.

    One way we felt better was thinking about all the good things that will come of it, especially the fact that your older daughter is young enough that she will never remember a time when it was just her... you are giving her a built-in best friend for life. It will be difficult here and there, but in the long run it will be a tremendous positive!

  • Thanks to all for the advise and words of wisdom. You're telling me things that logically I know, but I think you're right "Dad01", its probably going to be harder on me than it will on her.

    One day at a time, right? :-)

  • My son was 17 months old when my daughter was born 7 weeks ago. So I remember worrying about preparing him for his sister. Unfortunitly your daughter is so young she wont really be prepaired no matter what you do. Just remember when the baby comes to make sure you spend time with just her often so she knows her mommy loves her. She will fight for your attention but as long as you put the effort in she will learn to love the new baby. Oh and make sure you keep an eye on her with the baby at all times. My son likes to try to bite his baby sister when I'm not looking. LOL