21 month old has seperation issues!!

  • I have a 21 month old boy and a baby girl that is 7 months old and every time I drop them of with the babysitter/nanny my 21 month old starts to cry and throw himself on the floor screaming. There are moments when I give him to the sitter or I lay him in bed and he sees that I am leaving and he starts screaming very loud that for a couple of seconds he can't catch his breath and we have to help him catch his breath. I just don't know what to do to help him, because once he start crying my baby girl starts crying too so it's hard for me to leave them there crying, so I am late a lot for work I am hoping there is something I can do to make the drop of to the sitter easier. Please Help!!!! Open to any suggestions!!!!!

  • I have always found that when separating, you need to do it quickly and don't linger. The longer you linger, the more your toddler assumes that you will respond to his tantrum and will continue doing it. It will be tough, but when my wife leaves, then comes back and waits longer, it usually makes things worse.

  • I agree...do it quickly and make sure to say things like "Mommy will be back...Mommy always comes back." This way your toddler will begin to understand that you are going to be back in a little while. Then just leave. Call your sitter after 20 minutes and see how he is...chances are, his tantrums are being done purely for "mommy's sake". He is probably happy and playing in 20 minutes. Knowing this, will help make it easier for you to leave him, which will in turn make his separation anxiety less. Good luck.