14 Month old cries when i leave the room

  • My son is 14 months old, he is a very happy and sociable boy, when he is with other people. When I am around all he does is cry unless I am holding him or sitting on the floor with him. If I walk out of the room he cries and follows me, if I am holding him and put him down he automatically starts screaming. With my husband (his Dad) he is an angel. He will play by himself and he never cries. He is the same way at daycare (I have a full time job) and with everyone else. He is only needy like this when i am around him. This has been going on for a couple months but it seems to be getting a lot worse. I need help!

  • Well I am no expert but I have a 9 year old son who went through that and still to this day likes to see what he can get away with when he gets around me. The best thing that I would say to try is ignoring him when he wants to be held or when he starts screaming don't make eye contact. Maybe put him in a playpen if he can't climb out and this will allow him to see that his cries are not going to get the best of you. They love the attention just remember that so just don't give it to him. It will hurt you more than him, trust me. It won't be easy but try it.

  • Are our kids related?? :-) My little boy was JUST like that and still occasionally does the crying and hugging thing. I can tell he adores his mommy and loves being around you tremendously. That said, you and he have to have some level of independence from each other. When I really needed to go out of the room to do laundry or whatever it was I was leaving for, I would simply say to him "Mommy will be back in just a minute" and try to get him busy with some toys. I would leave to do my thing and come back even if he was crying. After a while, he got used to the idea of me doing other things while at home with him and his crying lessened. Many babies go through a second wave of separation anxiety between 14-24 months. Keep working with him - he will improve!

  • Do you have a sling/baby carrier?  Our 15-month old just goes with me most of the time.  You could reserve it for when your son wants to be with you.

    I've ALWAYS carried DD in a carrier so that I can do what I need to do and still interact with her.  She goes on my back and watches me cook dinner.  I explain to her what I'm doing.  She watches me in the bathroom mirror over my shoulder as I put on make-up.  When we grocery shop, she can see everything on the shelves and "read" the nutrional labels with me.

  • I have 5 kids and my youngest is 3yrs old, I am still going thru the samething he loves to be under me and rubs my arm like crazy but i ignore him so that he may learn to be independent without always having me there to soothe him.

  • AP Momma... I have three kids and never even though of using the back carrier inside... eureka! Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to tell my wife and have both of us try it out!

  • Keri_ac05, are things any better for you? I hope your situation is improving a bit!!
  • I feel you pain. I currently have a 16mo foster child who is like that. She came into our care December 10th. When you put her down she is quick to have a meltdown. We have a play yard for her with all kinds of toys but the moment her feet hit the carpet is tear city. She does not cry when she wants to be put down and runs around. But heaven forbid you walk out of the room. You would think she is being tortured. Otherwise she is miss social butterfly around others. She has been going to daycare since January 3rd. She has only had 1 meltdown when I dropped her off. She is becoming better about it since we now have her into a routine but she still not play in the play yard by herself. Trying to get her lay down by herself is a battle of the wills. Her mother would sleep with her at odd hours of the day & night. She only took naps in the car. When we first got her she would cry for long periods of time. She is slowly getting better. I have found that if I ignore her when she is in the play yard she will start to play by herself. When my mother is around she tries to get her to sit down and play and that just sets her off more.  I have found some times if I put something with music on TV she will play and dance along. Another thing that is helping is praising her when she does play by herself. Also acting like a goof ball by dancing and singing with the TV show gets her attention. 

  • AnswerDad01

    I'd love to hear how using the carrier at home works out for your family!

  • Separation anxiety is really common starting at about 9 months. What needs to happen is that your baby needs to get to the place developmentally where he see's you go, and knows that you are always coming back. This can be tough for some school aged children! Being consistent and predictable is the best thing you can do for you child now, and in the future. That all sounds like a nice theory- but it is HARD to put into action!!! Balancing carrying the baby with you, as well as helping him learn that you are always coming back will help you both the most in the long run. Keep us posted on how things go! -jess
  • Keri_ac05-I wanted to check in with you and see how things are going. I know this post has been bumped down so wanted to check in and make sure you got the support that you needed and that things are going well. If not, let us know and let's see what we can do to help! -Jess