Nervous about bringing home 2nd baby

  • My toddler will be 2.5 when my second son is born. We've been preparing a lot. Talking about the baby, he rubs my tummy, we watch lots of videos together, but I worry that it will be rough on himwhen he actually SEES baby for the first time. Also worried about regressions. I keep reading online that they regress a ton when a new baby joins the family. Any tips to make the transitione asier?

  • Our OB really opened our eyes regarding bringing home a sibling. Bringing home a baby for the older sibling is like a spouse bringing home a second spouse unannounced and forcing you to live together. There is bound to be some jealousy and attention grabbing, but it sounds like you are on the right track by involving him in your pregnancy. Much of how kids react is hard to predict, but take it day by day, try to be patient, and if some regression occurs, understand the example above! Good luck, and your 2-year old will likely be thrilled!

  • Mine never regressed and I think that's because I never made them feel like the baby was more important than them. I put the baby down a lot and tended to them throughout the day so that when it was the baby's turn they weren't jealous. Also, I got them involved in the baby's care...let him hold the baby when he wants to (with supervision), have him help with bath time and even putting lotion on the baby is a fun job. 

  • I know how you feel - I had a rough and tumble 2.5 year old when my little one was born. We just modeled good behavior around the baby and kept things calm in the house. I agree with MommyRN4 - we worked hard to make sure that we put the baby down and spent time with our big boy, so he wasn't really upset about the baby. Even if I was holding the baby, I'd have the baby watch and cheer him on in whatever he was doing. He was pretty proud of his ability to "teach" his brother new things! It'll all work out - hang in there!! 

  • With our son, our daughters are too involved! They love him so much they are constantly trying to hold him and carry him away!

  • My daughter will be 3 in December she is very smart and she knows that there is a baby in my tummy. I have this huge uneasy feeling every night and every day that passes that she is going to hate her brother and it makes me sad sometimes that she isn't going to be an only child anymore. I feel like she feels that all of our attention is going to be on the baby and that isn't true. any helpful tips?

  • Autumn, I so hear your concerns.  You are a wonderful mother to have identified these concerns and to be thinking ahead about how your daughter is going to cope with the birth of a new sibling.  What I can offer is that if you have a positive outlook then I think your daughter will pick up that tone and have a positive vibe as well.  You may have to "sell" the idea of a sibling to her a bit-but no matter as soon as that sibling is born she will be in love with the baby as well.  Some parents find it helpful to get the sibling a baby doll to care for through modeling the care you give the new sibling.  This play can be very therapeutic.  Kiddos also do a good job of being special helpers when the new sibling comes.  Have her learn a few things and title her your special helper (or something positive of that nature).  Perhaps her job will be getting the blanket for the baby after feedings.  You can think of other tasks as well.  I think that this transition can be a positive one.  Let us know how we can best support you,  Jess

  • I was talking about how her brother is coming home soon and how he needs to get a couple more clothes and she was doing the whole what about me . I told her she would still be loved the same prob. even more for being such a good sister. I told her he is going to be like her little baby but she has to be very careful. Thank you for the support when the day comes ill tell you guys how it is going .

  • i had the same worries when i delivered our second son.  Our first had just turned three. But, we made it a big deal for him to be a big brother.  We got a present to him from "the baby" and made a HUGE deal about any little thing.  My best advice would be to just make sure that you make time for him also.  We did a lot of 1 on 1 with ours.  I would feed (i was nursing at first) and then go outside adn play with our oldest.  Then we also just called him big brother ALL the time and he loved it.  You will be surprised how in love he will be when the time comes.  It will be a struggle-there were times when both of my boys were crying, but you just do the best you can.  and you are worried already, so you are going to do great! just make sure you give it some time.  i was worried about regressions also, but don't think of it as a bad thing.  he is going to learn that there is someone else in the picture but as long as he is still getting some alone time, he will be fine and so will you.  We did alot of family time also.  We'd let our oldest pick a movie and then we'd all watch it together.  He also was our helped and passy patrol-even though the baby didn't take it and now doesn't take it much-that was HIS job.  he loved/loves it.  now every time our youngest cries the oldest runs to find the passy! 

  • We are in a home with four kids and my oldest just turned 6. The older kids want us to have more babies because they love their siblings so much. The bottom line is that you are adding a loving member to the family and kids will adjust... it's what they do! In the meantime, involve your daughter as much as you can and prepare for what's to come. Congratulations!