New mom shock again!!

  • OK so I just found out I am about to have a second baby and im not even 20 yet! my toddler is almost 2 and she is a hitter, thrower, and screamer! I have no idea how to tell her no! She just either cries and wimpers and just hits me! I know that she is way to young to be spanking and I have no idea where I can make a time out place in my little appartment with my fiance and 2 other room mates :( Which I happen to hate having room mates but thats all we can afford. I dont have a job and my fiance works part time at walmart stocking supplies at night and I dont have a job! I dont think I can get a job because we only have one car :( ahhh please if you have any advice on how to cool my stressors down and help maintain my toddler on a low income budget, pleaseeee tell me! I am dying to know!

  • Ddylilgrl1-

    It sounds like you have your hands full.  I am so glad that you found us here at Strongmoms, and I'm really hoping that the community can support you as you navigate parenthood.  Your question is a tough one, and different things work for different people.  You sound like you have a pretty good grasp on what is going on with your daughter.  Given all of this I think the most helpful thing that I can do is to give you the link to the American academy of pediatrics and let you do some searching.  They have a ton of information in different modalities. There is  lot of written material, plus there are also audio files.  To start with here is the main page:

    http://www.healthychildren.org/English/Pages/default.aspx

    I want you to find the search box, which is a small box that you can type into on the upper right hand corner of the page.  Search for any words that you think best relate to your child.  

    The second link I'm sending you is also for that page, but i put in the terms "discipline toddlers".  As you will see when you click on this link there are tons of resources for dealing with toddlers and behavior.

    http://www.healthychildren.org/english/search/pages/results.aspx?k=discipline+toddler

    Please let me know what you think after you check out the links.  You might want to try some of the suggestions and then let us know how things are going.  If not better I'll have to do some more thinking.
    Take care and keep me posted!
    -Jess

  • Sounds stressful! So sorry that things are tough right now. Hopefully you can find some support on here. One tip for time outs is to just have a little carpet square or little piece of fabric and whenever your daughter misbehaves, you take out the square and put it down and that becomes the time out area. Put her in time out one minute for each year of life - so two minutes for a two year old. Simply place her in timeout and tell her why she is in timeout. "Honey, you are in time out for hitting Mommy. That is not okay". Walk away and if she gets up, put her back on the mat. Just keep doing this until she stays or her time out is over. Eventually she will learn to just sit there. When the time out is done, tell her again why she was in time out (You were in time out for hitting Mommy. This hurts Mommy and that's not okay) and then ask for a hug and give her a kiss. Time out is over! :-) My son still gets time outs but most times when he is doing something that I don't want him to, I just ask him once to stop and the second time ask if he wants a time out. He usually stops right away, so it is effective. :-) Hang in there.
  • I know sometimes it seems like the world is closing in, but this second child is a blessing even if it seems like you are not prepared to have your family grow. The ladies have provided excellent information for you. If having a car is a major obstacle to you getting a job, try finding a telecommuting job. Even if it is just data entry or proofreading, you can earn extra money without leaving the house and it is a job that you can do deep into your pregnancy. You will be surprised at how much you can earn online if you put your mind to it. Good luck and congratulations!