will i be a good parent?

  • hello to all the moms and dads out there. just to start things off, im 22 and im 31 weeks prego with my first baby.(is a girl X-) ) Its been generaly a good pregnancy so far and im in a good relationship with the father. everything seems to going good except for a few things. one of them being that my anxiety about being not just a parent, but a good one at that, when my own parents weren't the greatest in the world. my dad was never there and for good reason, being that he was a mentaly and physically abusive drunk/drugie and my my mom was just never all there herself, also into drugs and wrapped up in her oun life. though not as bad as my father in any sense but she was more my friend than a mother. i have a deep fear of becoming like either of them as the years go by after she's born. i dont do drugs or drink excessively and the only thing that would be a health issue on my part would be smoking which i've quit when i found out i was pregnant. still the fear is there in the back of my mind being half of both of those people. i just need some words of wisdom...

  • JazzyMama- I can tell that you have done a lot of exploration and thinking about how your parents and your childhood was. Just having the introspection that you are showing tells me that you are going to be a wonderful mother! You get to start with a clean slate and be the mom you want to be and offer this child what you want to. Just by your post I can tell you are very committed to providing a wonderful envt and start to life for this baby. Keeo up the good work! -Jess
  • wow thank you for that. it really means a lot. its not really easy for me to put my thoughts out there for all to see but seeing your response made it worth my while :-)

  • JazzyMama- I'm so glad that you were able to take my post to heart. I def. meant every word that i said!! I'm so excited for this baby to find it's way to your arms, and for you two to start your lives together. There will be hard times, but there will be twice as many good times. Keep your chin up, you are going to do just great! Please keep us posted, I'd love to hear how the next weeks go for you! :) Jess
  • JazzyMama022 - I agree wholeheartedly with Jess_BabyRN. Your thoughtfulness and consideration of your parenting skills shows a really tender heart toward your baby and tells me that you are really not like your parents in that regard. My own husband comes from a pretty harsh family and he is doing a really great job of being loving and tender towards our son. My advice to you would be to have people around you who you admire as parents and be able to call them to ask advice about how to handle a situation. Sometimes you will not know what to do and it helps to have people who you trust. Another thing is to recognize that everyone is human and you will make mistakes. One of the best things you can teach your child is the ability to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I lost my temper once with my little boy and I sat him down and apologized for my bad behavior. It goes a long way to a child to understand mistakes can be made but you can do better next time and still be a good person. :-) Congrats on your little girl! 

  • I echo the girls on here and applaud you for doing so much "soul searching" during this time. Being a mother is the most rewarding job and it is so wonderful, but it is also stressful. It is natural to want the best for your children and want to provide them with the best. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to be responsible for another life...but keep trying to be the best mom you can be and love this little girl with all your heart. You do not have to make the same mistakes your parents made and just you being aware that they made mistakes is a huge step towards being your OWN kind of parent. Good luck! You'll do just fine! If you have any questions, we are here for you!

  • Just the tone of your message alone would tell me you are already seemingly far more invested in parenthood than your parents were. Just give your best effort everyday and realize that you are not perfect and you will make mistakes. From what you have talked about, there is little doubt that you will become a wonderful mother. Good luck and if you ever need advice, Strong Moms is a great starting point!

  • thank you everyone. this is an awesome online community thing going on and im glad i signed up ^_^ i'll be sure to update on things and come here for more support. also, i'll make sure to help anyone else that may need any kind of advice ;-) thanks again!

  • There are many people that are brought up by not so great parents. However, you are you! You have the chance to make things different for your baby girl. So don't be nervous about trying to not be like your parents. When your baby comes just love and nurture her and everything else will fall into place.

  • Just wanted to see how things were. Did you have your baby? How are things going?