Still hurting after miscarriage.

  • Hi everyone.  I have posted on here before but for other reasons!!  I miscarried in late November and had a D&C on December 1st.  I really thought it would get easier.  I go through waves and waves of emotions.  My earlier posts were about my age and being pregnant,  I am 41, and wanting to try again, but the fear of it happening again overwhelms me.  My Hcg levels are slowly approaching normal.  Any advice on how to cope would be GREATLY appreciated!!

  • I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can truly take the pain away and no one will ever really understand exactly what you are feeling or going through. All I can tell you is that there are many moms here on the boards that have gone through something similar and have come out the other side of the darkness. Hang in there and try your best to stay positive. If you decide to try again to get pregnant, talk to your doctor and voice your fears and concerns. I will pray for you and your family during this difficult time. God Bless You.

  • Tiffani-

    I too am very sorry for your loss.  I think that coping with this must be very hard.  I'm not sure if you are familiar with the grieving cycle, but i think that it would be very appropriate to find yourself going through this cycle.  I found a website which I think explains this all very well that i want to share with you.  What I want you to take  good look at within that site are the explanation of the 5 stages of grief. These have been well established by the psychology field for many years are they are:

    • Denial

    • Anger

    • Bargaining

    • Depression

    • Acceptance

      It's important to know that you may not go through these stages in this order and you may progress forward and then find yourself slipping back into one of the previous stages.  This is normal.  The article talks a bit about dealing with each one.  I think the fact that there is a name for what you may be going through might offer you some comfort.  

      Take a look at this article and then let me know what you think and how we can further support you.

      Take care,

      Jess

  • I am so sorry  for your loss ,I know all to well what you are going thorugh i have lost 4 babies. You never turly get over it , But just have faith and you will get threw it . I turly wish you all the best.

    Take care hun!

  • i am sorry to here about what happen i hope u start feeling better soon

  • Tiffani71-

    So sorry to hear of your struggles and loss. No words can fix things or make your pain go away, but I pray that you are able to begin to heal and see a light at the end of the tunnel. It must be paralyzing to want to try again and yet be afraid of miscarriage...what a hard decision. I know moms who have made both decisions - to try again because they couldn't live with not having at least tried and moms who decided to just protect their hearts and move forward with the family they have. Do you have any other kids? Please keep us up to speed and know that our prayers are with you. Hugs. 

  • Tiffani71--I just wanted to see how you were doing? We are all here for you if you need us. 

  • I am so sorry for your loss, it is so hard as a woman to go through and not many people around you know what to say or do to help (even though they love us and try) a thought that gave me a lot of comfort after I had 4 miscarriages it that those babies that you lose become angels and watch over you and those you love.

  • Thanks everyone for posting your thoughts and prayers.  I have a doctors appt.  next week to check my levels again.  I am hoping they are normal.  I have had a menstrual cycle.....it was bittersweet I guess.  I was really hoping that it would get easier. I am constantly wondering if it was a boy or girl.  Wondering if I did something to lose this baby.  Wondering what it would have looked like.  And, wondering if I should even try again.  I never in a million years would have imagined that I would have a miscarriage.  It is getting easier day by day but I am not going to lie, I go through stages (which I know is normal) where I am hurt, scared, and extremely pissed off.  The tears are a lot more sporadic and can look at it in a different way.  I have a special angel in heaven, that I know i will see again someday.  I will keep all of you posted with updates!!  I hope that you ALL have a wonderful weekend!! Wink