The other grandparent...

  • This is my first baby that I'm expecting, but this is my boyfriends second baby girl. He has an 2 year old daughter from an previous relationship, and his mother does not like me at all. His mom has a dislike for me and says she wants nothing to do with my baby girl. Although my boyfriend is very supportive and loving of me, I fear that his mother will treat my daughter different because of the anger and dislike she has for me. I'm very confused and wonder if I'm the only one in this situation...

  • This happened to my sister. Her MIL didn't want anything to do with her or her new grand daughter. So my sister just sent her letters and pics of my niece. Being as nice as possible. Letting her know how she was growing and all that every month. She finally couldn't take not seeing her grand baby and came around. You can't change how she feels about you. However you can prevent her from ignoring your baby. Send her letters every month explaining milestones and all that and include a picture. She will fall in love even if it takes awhile. Just keep the letters about baby and that way you won't bring up any issues that may be between you. Just remember you have to think about your daughter first. So if it becomes a problem just ask yourself, what's right for her. If that means stopping communication with her then do it. If it means biting your tongue around your MIL for the sake of your daughter then do it. That's what I do with my MIL who I do not get along with at all. It's hard but it lets my daughter not miss out on her grandma. I make my jabs at her later on when I'm alone ;) It makes me feel better.

  • That makes so much since, thank you for your feedback now I feel better about this situation. =)

  • Hope things get better for ya'll :) & i agree with the comment above. Basically just avoid drama and problems for your babygirl... might be hard but hey most MIL's are that way... I live with mine and now after a year and a half things are a little better. Just stay positive and remember......... It may take a while but it'll get better. If not then hey, atleast you have your daughter and bf. I was also a single parent for  a while but hey things get better with time. Best of luck :) -Ruby

  • I LOVE SarahJane's advice. Such good suggestions! It's hard when your mother in law doesn't get along with you. It creates lots of stress and tension but, as hard as it is, working to smooth things out with letters and pictures is taking the high road and not sinking to low behavior. Such a great example for your daughter. :-) Hang in there. 

  • Thank You all for your responses I really appreciate them all, and am very grateful for them. Although the situation with me and her still has not gotten any better, I got my ultra sound pictures and put one in a frame and gave it to her. She sent it back to me, but my boyfriend says she will come around I just hope soon.

  • Sorry she is being that way to you and your daughter. All you can do though is try and try again. But most importantly just love your daughter with all your heart. If she comes around, she comes around. If she doesn't, it's her loss that she's missing out on a precious new life. Just remember to take care of yourself because at this point, you and your baby are the only thing that's important. As much as possible, don't stress and take it easy. Hope things get better for you.

  • I'm sorry she was hurtful and sent the ultrasound picture back to you. Keep your head high and know that you are being the better person here. Like Sarah Jane said, focus on you, your daughter, and boyfriend most of all right now. You guys are the top priority here. Hugs.