Baby Shower and family

  • Okay well, my due date is May 22 and i planned on having my baby shower in April...BUT the thing is my family dosen't like me sometimes because of my husband. They haven't been to fond of him since i brought him home and it really upsets me. My husband dosen't want my mother in our daughters life because as he says "she bad influence" but thats my mother and i want her to be there for me and my daughter. I'm young and i wanna do whats right for my family, but im so confused and don't know what to do. My aunt is totally done with me because she HATES my husband she talk bad about him in front of his face and behind his back and she has been there for me my whole life....she is my godmother also, everything is so confusing....i cant talk to him about it because if i do then everything has to be his way or the highway, so i dont bring it up. i really need advice.

  • Wow, I'm so sorry. What a hard thing to have to chose between your husband and your family. It's not a spot that anyone should be put in. What, in particular, is your family so concerned about with  your husband? Do they feel he is controlling? It's very hard to know what to do when it comes to family and your own mother and godmother are precious people to you. Is there any chance of sitting down and having some discussions about how you can come to some peaceful middle ground for the sake of your daughter? Praying for you - hugs. 

  • my family is the same way....they HATE my husband...... and im due in april, so i'm having my baby shower at the end of family didnt come to my wedding nor have they spoken to me ever advice to u is if ur husband loves you he will understand it in the long run, you NEED to talk to him about it bc otherwise u wont be able to talk to him about anything, explain what ur family means to u, make him understand.....i know in my case thats never going to be possible but my advice to u is dont let anyone push u around, show him u love ur family and u love him, but u need both ur fam and him to be supportive and be there for u

  • Tough choices and no easy solutions. The opinions above are very solid, and with a baby on the way, it may be one last chance for your family and your husband to do what's right for you and your baby, which is to reach common ground. This is never easy, and it sounds like there is significant baggage already, but if it doesn't get better nowor the sake of a grandchild, it likely never will. Without knowing the nature of everyone's animosity, it's hard to give specific advice, but it definitely feels like a crossroads, and you are doing the right thing by soliciting advice.

  • well thats the thing my mother wants to be around and be in my life and try to accept him....they dont like him because we got married young hes alot older then me and they do believe he controls me which isnt true i just let him have the upper hand because like i said if its not his way its the highway, but my mother wants to help out but he dont want her around me him or the baby he dont want here to see the baby and dont want her to come to the hospital. i want to have my child christening at my church and he said if my mom and aunt(godmother) be there he dont want that to happen he want her to baptised at his church. so not matter how much i TRY and tell him how much my mother mean to me he want me to cut her off and not have anything to do with her...he wants to move either 10 miles away or out of state so she cant she her grandchild...and i dont want that because my brothers have kids and they have not moved away for her where she cant see her grandkids. she has been in all my brother kids life and so have i and i dont want to be the stuck up one and not have my family around my child and only his family.

  • My family arent too fond of my husband either, and he hates them as well. As for the Baby Shower it is for the Baby and You, he doesnt have to be there. Im young as well. I invited people that dont get along in my baby shower, my husband wasnt there either, made things better. ASK them around you not to talk about your husband because u feel like they are talking smack about u too because you are a family of ONE now. My husband doesnt want our son in my mothers life either but right now it is not possible because my mother really cares about being a grandmother and seeing her grandkid, and it would be right if he took him/her away. Try talking to your family asking them just to be supportive for you and the baby, and not mention about your husband, because once they start that topic, they wont end it, and your whole day will be ruined. and as for your husband, go easy on him if he doesnt want to talk, dont press it, give him time, then gently start the topic in a way that might not be overboard for him. like the topic of grandparents babysitting while you guys go out, the right to see the baby at the hospital. I know how you feel, i been there and still there. and we still working on it... my husband seems to try to work it out, he only stays away from my parents now, and doesnt talk to them and see them. the more he stays away from them, the btter things are