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I wish he was my EX!!!! We are still married!! UGH! I have tried to be patient, tried to be nice, tried to be civil!! NO MORE!! I am in the process of getting ready to move out of our expensive apartment...don't know where I am going yet but I will figure something out. Started to see a counselor last week. I like her a lot. She is worried about me and for good reason. When I am not with my son...I am a mess. Moving out of this place has required me to try and interact with my husband on various issues. Well today I was to turn in the garage that he kept his motorcycle in as it is not here and I cannot afford it...reduces the rent by 100.00...he left a message that he would return the opener this morning...he was a no show and did not respond to texts or calls. I LM a message that he had 15 minutes to get back to me ...and then I was done...done with the selfishness, inconsideration, disrespect, tormenting and his games. No reply so I took the counselors advice and blocked him from facebook...he can no longer see pictures of his son...which makes me feel bad....just the way I am. I blocked him from my cell phone so he can no longer text or call...neither can I which I think is important...cause I get angry and then send him a message giving him a piece of my mind which just keeps us engaged with one another. I have asked my friends to not ask about the situation or him and if they find me talking about it or bringing it up to give me some tough love and tell me they dont want to hear it and politely re-direct me to my counselor. Am hoping that will assist me in moving ON. I am a total mess right now..after blocking him...I know it is the right thing to do but if hurts so f'ing much! I dont understand how someone can treat another human being the way he is treating me...much less someone they say that they love. It is beyond me! It baffles me and it hurts so much!!!! I am not going to let him see his son either...he has not paid a penny to care or suport or take care of him...in my book that is cause for you to lose your rights to see him...but THIS is the issue that I am struggling with right now. He never calls to see him any way...only when he needs or wants something like help with his resume or job applications or interviewing advice...and I have been nice and given it as I need him to work and contribute. I am just drained from it all...I have very little left. I go to court thursday to apply for temporary custody and temporary support. When I move if I do not have custody I beleive if he wanted to he could have me charged with kiddnapping...am just trying to protect myself and my child. I am so lost so hurt it is so hard to even think straight. Finally got approved for WIC, Bryce has Medicaid, my retro claim was approved back to the date of his birth so i am starting to get the medical bills resolved. My application for medicaid was denied reason "requestor is not in need of assistance" when I called to ask what the heck...I was told I never applied for coverage...ummm well then how did I get a denial letter and a letter a couple months back stating my application was sitt being reviewed? All the applications and telling my story over and over is wearing on me. I jut want to crumble!!!!!!!!!! But it is not an option. Many pryers and good thoughts needed...just don't know exactly how I am going to get through this!
sit back. breathe. take a long hot bath and hug yourself. everything will be ok. sometimes you just have to work through the hard times to get to the great ones. and sometimes the hard times can be a test of just how strong you are. just know that you will make it through and that there is a little one who's smile will get you through anything. *hugs to you and your little one*
My heart goes out to you. I didn't read all the posts, so I apologize if I repeat. I saw that you are "working the programs" that are available to you. That's the best start I can think of. You need to have the physical present support - not just words on a screen support. Don't know what your faith tradition is or if you even have one... but may I suggest a little more help that you may not have thought of. The local church can provide you some personal assistance. they can hook you up with a retired woman or stay at home wife/ mother who has some spare time to come over and give you a hand so that you can take a nap, a break down shower, or go to the store. Our Confirmation students have to do service hours, if there was someone in my parish that came to me in your situation, I would try to hook up on of the students to help - free babysitting, cleaning, cooking... anything to help. Some parishes do meals for moms - different families will cook a casserole type dinner and bring it to your house for you and you family so that "new Mom" doesn't have to worry about cooking as she adjusts to mommyhood. Personally, I would try to find someone in my parish that could help you, even if you weren't a member of our parish or faith tradition. It won't hurt to call the local church and ask. No application forms to fill out. I wish you the best and to your son. Lean on those who are close - they'll be the ones that offer the best support emotionally.
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