I NEED PEOPLE TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS

  • I feel so alone I am a mother of three my last child was born Feb 13th. I have a 7 year old boy, a 22 month old girl and my new baby boy. My oldest is from my first marriage I was 17 and of course it didn't last and he doesn't come around ever. When he was almost 2 i met the most wonderful man in the world and u would never know that my oldest is not his unless i said something. We have been together for 6 years and have been extremely happy. About 2 months before the baby was born i found out that he had been talking to another woman whom was also married but not so happily with 2 small children. It started out as a friendship she had just started working for the company he works for so i know he hasn't known her long at all. But on Feb. 4th he left. And he has still been good with the kids and getting them every weekend and he even stayed here with us after the baby was born because it was c section so i couldn't do it alone. But he left to go be with her again on Wednesday and im all alone again and i just don't know how to handle it. I have been doing my best and i have tried talking to him and he just says i don't know what im doing and if its a mistake i will have to learn from it. I just want him to come home because i don't know how much longer i can hold it together. We never fought and the past 2 months thats all we have done. My oldest blamed me because he said i yelled at his dad so he left. And his dad tried to explain it to him but he is my sons world so naturally i will be blamed. But by the time i get the 2 older ones fed the baby is crying and i forget to eat and i just cry all the time even though im already on a nerve medicine and have been for over a year. And i just feel like im all out of energy both physically and emotionally and what should have been a happy time just makes me cry more. I have a family that helps and friends but for some reason i still feel alone in all of this and i can't seem to find a way out i just want him to come home and start being responsible again.

  • Christy-

    It sounds like you are going through a lot right now.  I wanted you to know that I read your post and I am sending strength and courage to you over the wireless waves!  Is there anything in particular that I can do to support you?  I hope that you will find support in coming to the boards and also answers to questions that may come up for you.  Hang in there and keep us in the loop!

    -jess

  • My advice is to lean on your friends and fam as much as possible. I am truely sorry that you are going thru this terrible ordeal. It sounds as if him comming to see the kids are good for him but hurting you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do in that situation but you must establish some sort of boundaries with him. If he is going to be with her then fine, but you have to be ok with the situation as well. Until your able to let go it will continue to upset you.

  • I stay upset between trying to care for the baby and the 2 older ones as well. I just don't get it though why now when we have the family and the income to support it would he run like this. It blows my mind. Somedays i'm ok other days i just cry. I'm trying to keep praying but sometimes I find it so hard and asking stupid questions like if god intended for divorce to be unheard of then why wouldn't he just send us our soul mate the first time. I just want to be happy again but most days I don't even have time to eat or I just forget all together I'm so stressed and nothing seems to be helping at all

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this but right now your family needs you. You are the rock that they will need, and it will be the most difficult thing you will ever do, but you will be able to do it. Even though your 7-year old may be angry with you right now and for the foreseeable future, he will come to understand what you will do for your family. Leaning on family and friends is a must and you need to eat and maintain your health because you have to be that rock. Don't give up and keep reaching out to Strong Moms and your support network anytime you need anything.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this right now. First of all...you must know that you are not alone. You have friends, family, and beautiful children that are there for you. Secondly, don't be afraid to reach out to a counselor or someone who can help you process these emotions properly so you can get some closure and get on with your life. You will get through this. We are all here for you here at Strong Moms!

  • What a rotten thing for him to do! Walking out when you were so close to having your baby! Ugh! the nerve of him. And her, what kind of woman would even consider being with a married man! They deserve each other and Honey you DESERVE BETTER! Good riddance!

    Don't waste another tear on him! He isn't worth it. Your children need to be your world and as long as you are stuck holding on to a fantasy that he will come home and everything will be fine, you aren't giving those precious babies your full attention!

    I lost my husband in a tragic accident nearly 4 years ago. It was the absolute hardest thing in the world but we survived! His children, my babies, knew they could count on me to be strong for them. And I was! It was hard I had days that I didn't want to breath, eat, exist, but I did anyway..for them! I thought I needed a man to be complete but that wasn't the case. I went a couple years as a single mom and found out that I AM INDEPENDENT! I can carry the load. and YOU CAN TOO!!

    I'm now 40 in a new relationship and 8 months pregnant. There are times when me and my new guy don't get along, but I never worry about if we don't work out. Because I know I am strong enough to carry this load too. Even though he had a hand in making this baby that doesn't mean that I will bend over backwards to appease him.

    You need to pull yourself together and get STRONG! Put your foot down.

    If your 7 yo gets mad because he hasn't seen dad in a while, remind him that Dad walked out! That YOU are still there for him and that you need his support. He doesn't have to hate his Dad or even think badly of him. But he does need to know sometimes people need more room to breath and that Dad is one of those people. How you and Dad handle this is what will forever be instilled in your children. How YOU get through this will be the building block for their future!

  • Christy914--How are you doing? Are you coping with the situation a bit better now? How is your baby doing? I am just checking to see if you were okay. Let us know how you are.

  • Oh my goodness girl, I'm sosorry you are going through this!! BUT, you have taken a step in the right direction aasking for help, try to keep your chin up, you have the babies that need you. Your oldest doesn't exactly understand why things are going the way they are but eventually he will come around. Family and Friends are going to be the biggest things to help you right now, And it does not help any that your emotions are still all over the place. Hang in there girl, and I hopeyou are doing ok. As each day passes it will get a little easier.