Different parenting methods

  • My husband and I have somewhat different parenting methods. I tend to do more explaining and talking out of behaviors while my husband sets more boundaries and asks my son to make good choices or he will receive a punishment. There is some merit in both but it drives my husband crazy when I correct him in front of our son if I feel he is being harsh. I know I shouldn’t correct him but I feel bad for my boy...am I wrong? - Julie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • I don't think you are wrong for correcting him if you feel it is justified, however i do feel it should be done in private and especially not in front of the children. My reasoning behind this is because if you undermine his authority in front of your child then he will start to see and understand that you aren't on the same page which will cause a rift in his behavior and how well he listens to the both of you. You really need to come up with a plan on parenting that will suit the both of you. I have kind of noticed that women tend to be much softer in their parenting than men as well. 

  • You shouldn't correct him infront of your son, bc that's undermining his authority. Also your son will see it as you're the alpha and he doesn't have to listen to your husband. It will also make your husband feel like he has no say, and that might make him angry. Best to do that in private, or at least talk to him about your concerns.

    Children aren't stupid, if you both have different parenting styles that's ok. Your son will learn what to expect from you, and what to expect from your husband. Your parenting style will most likely change a bit as you all get older, more kids, experience, etc. No parenting style is 100% for everyone, maybe you both having diffeerent styles is what your son needs. I wouldn't worry unless you see your son spiral out of control. But don't correct him infront of your son,

  • I'd have to agree with the others-both parents need to give the same message.  This demonstrates consistency which helps the child build confidence in your parenting style and in his/her own safety within the family.  Talk with dad when the kids aren't around and come up with a compromise.  

    -Jess

  • Okay, I really need to change this. I don't do it all the time but I do it often enough that my son sometimes runs to me to see if I'll get him out of a situation where he is in trouble with my husband. NOT GOOD. Thanks for helping me see what I need to change, ladies. :-) 

  • It is hard though when you think your husband is being overly harsh or too strict. I am guilty of it too. I try to break my husband's attention and talk to him in private, but if I think he is being too harsh on one of the children or expecting too much, then I do step in on rare occasions. Sometimes I think that you have to....and if this is a once in a while situation then it won't undermine your husband's authority. If you are doing it all the time, however, then you and your hubby need to sit down and discuss how you can maintain a unified front.