new mom feeling EXTREMELY lost

  • My daughter is a week old and she is beautiful and I love her so much. My husband is equally amazing and so supportive. With that being said, why cant i stop crying?! I feel so out of control, and for a control freak, I'm not handling it very well. This is my first child and the unknown of everything is really wearing me down. Why is she crying? Why wont she sleep? Why wont she burp? Is she gassy? Is she too hot? Is she getting enough to eat? All questions she cannot answer for me and its really hard. I dont know if theres anything anybody can say but I guess it helps to vent. I'm a mess right now and i just want it to go away.

  • I am so sorry that you are having such a rough and emotional time with your new little one. As a nurse and a mother of 3, it sounds to me like you are suffering from a form of Postpartum Depression. While the symptoms and severity of Postpartum Depression do vary from individual to individual, you are describing some pretty classic signs. You should contact your OBGYN or Family Physician immediately to avoid getting any worse. It is important to know that you do not have to feel this way. With the help of your doctor, you can beat these feelings and get back to your old self so you can ENJOY your new baby and this wonderful time in your life. PLEASE do not wait and let us know how you are doing. Congratulations on your new baby.

  • Totally agree with MommyRN... maybe it's not postpartum, but you should let your doc make that decision.

  • Since this is your first child, you are experiencing a new chapter in your life and it can be overwhelming and scary. I am pregnant with my first child and I am already nervous and wondering: Will I be a great mom? Will I know exactly what my baby needs when he/she cries? Will I get any sleep? Can I work and raise a baby at the same time? Even though I am a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, I know that once I have a child of my own, things will be different and I will view everything in a different light. I am nervous that, because of my nursing background, I will overreact every time my child is sick because of my knowledge of illness. I have a feeling that I will be a hypochondriac and want to keep my child in a bubble the first few months...or years! Did you experience depression prior to the birth of your child? If so, were you managed by a physician? Sometimes depression can get worse after the birth of a child. Post-partum depression can occur in mothers who have never experienced depression before. It is nothing to be ashamed about and there is always help available. You should talk with your doctor and ask for a list of resources that can assist you in dealing with the issues you are facing. "Postpartum depression" sounds like a scary phrase, so I like to refer to it simply as the "baby blues." It is not abnormal to feel this way and it happens to many new moms, as well as mothers with subsequent pregnancies. I am so happy to hear that you are reaching out for help because that is the first step in the recovery process. The earlier you seek help, the speedier your recovery and the sooner you can enjoy your little bundle of joy. Remember that you are not alone. There are many support groups and other resources that can help you overcome these emotions. Being a new mommy is a roller coaster ride of twists and turns. It sounds like your husband is a great support system and you are very lucky! Use the fact that he is supportive and share your feelings with him. Opening up will only bring you closer together and strengthen your marriage bond. Again, please seek help if you feel increasingly anxious, nervous, or depressed before things get worse. Also, take time for you to de-stress. Give yourself an hour a day to close your eyes and relax, listen to some music, read a good book, take a bath, go for a walk. New moms are so caught up with the chaos of having a new baby around that they forget to take care of themselves. Do not neglect yourself and enjoy this time. Congrats on your new baby!

  • Thanks everyone for your responses. I am pleased to say I am doing much better. It definately takes some time to adjust to the major life change but we are getting in the groove of things. Its by no means easy but I atleast feel like I've regained my sanity :) 

  • Your hormones are nowhere near being normal right now and they will make you very emotional. It sounds like you are having a very stressful time. You might want to speak with your doctor about this because it could be a sign of post-partum depression. She might recommend seeing a counselor or even medication. Many, many women, myself included, have experienced this, so you're not alone.

  • I agree with EVERYONE!  Your hormones are so out of whack right now that the drop of a hat could make you cry!  It's so hard, I understand....I had a rough time after my daughter was born.  But, you've got to understand that your body has been pregnant for 9 months and now, all of the sudden, it isn't anymore.  It's going to take some time to get back into the "swing" of things.  Try doing something to take your mind off of all of the stress you're feeling...taking a walk, a long shower or a bath, or just going out for a drive by yourself may help. 

    I'd give yourself a couple more weeks and if you're not starting to feel a little better, I'd call your doctor.  Talking to friends, family or even your husband may help as well.  Don't hide your feelings!  But, PPD is VERY real and can take over your entire life so it IS important that you speak to your doctor if things do not improve.

    Congrats on your new baby!!!  Take care of yourself!!

  • You sound like me!  My daughter was born 10 weeks early and at first all I heard was how un-emotional I was.  I didn't cry when I left without her,whats wrong with me.  I cried from being tired of running back and forth to the hospital, and forget watching discovery channel.  Whenever I put on a baby story or deliver me I would cry.  This isn't me.  Then she came home. I would cry from being tired in the middle of the night and longing for someone to come over to help so I could take a nap. Poor hostess am I. Have a baby while I take a nap. Finally my mom said this is what you need.  Dont worry about manners take the nap. You flipped a light switch and demanded your body to adjust instantaneously and that doesn't happen.  When you move to a new home you don't adjust overnight. The same has just happened with your newborn.  They are out of their floating home of darkness into a bright place with less than plush surroundings and everyone keeps disturbing them. My daughter was born in April, came home from the nicu memorial day weekend and we finally figured each other out after the 4th of July. Now life is grand and she smiles.  Anyone in this situation, take a deep breath and don't sell yourself short.  Mommies and babies need to adjust.  The simplest thing I could tell you is to hold your baby close and whisper in their ear.  Yours is the most farmiliar voice they know.  That is when my baby is her calmest.  Hope it helps