Leaving Baby

  • My spouse and I are in the military. I will need to leave to fulfill active duty obligations soon. My son is two months old I will be gone anywhere from 7 to 13 weeks, 1000 miles away, by the time he is 3 months. Currently, my spouse is the only one working full time so he has obligated himself to many things in which, they all bring in some sort of income. My husand is a great father but because of his busy schedulem he is often tired at night. That is when I usually spend that time cuddling and comforting our son. Unfortunately, I am not comfortable in leaving the child to his total care because of his busy schedule. I don't want our son to miss out on that special time he gets from his parents before bed time. We have yet to establish solid friendships with other military or church family. Besides a single mom and working sister in law, there is no other family close enough to assist him.

    My question is, is there any advice from any other parents that have had to be apart from their child so soon and how to cope? Any advice in finding adequate care that can assist my husband with the baby while he continues his military obligations that WE BOTH can trust and feel comfortable in?

     

    Thanks!

    -Shonda 

  • I feel for you and your situation...I can only imagine how you must feel having to leave him so soon. I know several friends who have used agencies that specialize in "nanny" services...they like them and you may be able to find a few reputable agencies in your area to choose from. You could also interview several nannies in your area that are willing to come to your home and watch your baby while your husband is working. This way, when he works late...you won't have to worry. Try putting up a flier in your church bulletin or asking your husband to check with other families at work for any recommendations. Let us know how it goes...good luck.

  • Start interviewing nannies now and have them come to your home and spend time with the baby while you are there. This way, you can see how the nanny cares for your baby, assess the level of compentence, and also ease your anxiety. The nanny will also get a chance to know what works well for your baby, get to know you and your family, and will be comfortable with caring for your child by the time you have to leave. I hope this helps!

  • First of all, thank you for serving our country at the expense of your family time.

    There are no easy answers to your questions. The above advice is excellent, but you know that while you are away, you will continue to worry constantly... you're a mom! There must be someone in your situation locally that you can talk to. I know time is precious, but for your peace of mind, seek out people who have similar dilemmas. Using a site like this is a great step... maybe there is a local web-based forum where you can get ideas with more specific answers.

    Best of luck and God bless you and your family.

  • It must be the favor of God that has allowed me to take control of this situation and lead me to such great loving parents that has opened my eyes to find whats best for my son and family situation.  After reading the responses, I have searched the internet and found some great daycare and nanny services that me and my husband are currently interviewing. We are very close to a decision that I feel very comfortable with dad and baby. That will take care of the weekday care.

    For the weekend, My son has seem to fall in love with an older lady and her husband at church. They have a 17 year old son that is also smitten by my little man! While talking after church, they asked if they could assist with care with our son. And can you believe that they are prior service as well so the definately understand our situation!

    If it wasn't for the great comments and support from everyone that responded, I would not have known where to start. I am proud to serve my country and know that my family will be taken care of as well. I will definately be back if there are any more 1st time mommy concerns that I am looking to overcome. Thank you for being so helpful ....

     

    Until we "meet" again!

    Shonda

  • Thanks MommyRN4,

     

    I have found some great agencies that my husband and I are currently close to making a decision that I will be comfortable with. And as for my church, A couple (bout late 50's-ish) and prior service offered to assist us with childcare on the weekend and evenings. They understood our situation as well. And the great thing is that my son seems to love them both! I let him stay there while my husband and I went bowling for bout 2 hours and my son went to sleep with ease- a true sign that he was comfortable. Normally, he is very alert to new surroundings and won't sleep well away from home.

    I will be sure to keep you posted on his dealings while I am away as well. Keep my family in your prayers as I will yours!

     

    -Shonda

  • PediNurse,

    I feel my family and I are on track. With your advice I was able to sit and write out a plan to get started on finding adequate childcare. I was able to leave him with a couple from church and he was VERY comfortable with them the entire time. I will keep you posted on how things are when I am gone. I will look for you to help as I conquer the 1st year of motherhood!

    Shonda