Is it important for dad to be involved during pregnancy?

  • Im 25 weeks pregnant and my fiance has been here for me until last week. he is still suppotive and everything and he will be here when the baby gets here, but he just left a couple weeks ago to go to school in another state. I think he should have stayed here with me because we arent very stable and we have no money and no jobs. and i think he should be with me during the pregnancy because its his pregnancy too and he should go through everything with me.
     it makes me very depressed that i never get to see him and the whole situation has me very stressed out.
    shouldnt he be with me right now? isnt it it important that he is here? am i right?

  • In my opinion your fiance should continue his education so he can secure a good job for you and the baby.  You all should of discussed that before you got pregnant.  With that said I would see if he could transfer his credits to a local college so that he can be there for you.  As far as your financial situation you should seek help from your local social service office which also provides wic for you and the baby so that you can that care of your health.  Stay strong and don't stress because if you stress then the baby will be stressed.

  • First of all...I am sorry that things are a little uncertain for you at this time. Since I don't know the whole story, I will attempt to help with what details you did give. What is most important is that your fiance does everything in his power to provide a good life for you and the baby. If this means going to school to finish his education, then you need to support this. Ultimately, this will be the far better than attending a few OB visits.

    YOU are doing everything to take care of your baby while she is inside of you, and HE is doing everything he can to take care of you both when she is born. That being said....maybe you could go with him to the other state. Why are you both not stable? If things are not stable between you two, then you need to work on your relationship and making sure that you should be getting married in the first place. Maybe you could move to his school and work on your relationship before the baby arrives. If this is not a possibility, then you should talk on the phone and work through things. Discuss your plans for the future and make sure that you both agree on where you are headed and what things need to be done NOW to get you there.You can both grow soooo much together just by talking on the phone and through skype. Keep him involved by sending him pictures of your growing belly and the baby and keep him informed on how you are feeling. Him being physically with you through your pregnancy is not nearly as important as you and him being on the same page about your future.

    While you are right that it is his pregnancy too.....realistically, men will never experience the pregnancy in the same ways as women do. While we feel every kick, every flutter...and are reminded on a minute by minute basis that we are carrying life inside of us...men do not get to experience the pregnancy in the same way. His way of  "dealing with the pregnancy" is to figure out how to provide for you both. This is a good thing...considering you have no money and no job...you NEED him to go to school and do what is best for you ALL.

  • There are a lot of things going on in both of your lives right now. He is doing what he thinks is right and you will have to do the same. It is VERY hard to do a pregnancy alone, I can relate. My husband was deployed when I was 18 weeks pregnant with our first AND we were newly weds. Relationships are not easy and it becomes more challenging when you dont have time to work out kinks. Your finace will come around, you have to give him time and patience. It would be helpful if he can start looking for schools to transfer to, near your home so that when the baby is born he can be there to help raise that baby. Hopefully you have family near by! Don't be afraid to use them.  My last advice, don't beat him up about his decision. He is trying to do what he sees as right and let him be a man. Men need respect. Everything will work out maybe not as you planned or what seems ideal. One day at a time! ENJOY your baby growing inside of you! Its a very special time in your life.