How can a father deny his child

  • If the dna test makes him feel better ,do it..and if he still doesnt want to be in your babies life ,them you at least tried!i have an 11yr old and her sperm donor (lol)wanted the dna she is his..and he saw her a few times and then never again..and i just love her more!as long as the baby has your love your baby will be fine!GOOD LUCK!!!

  • Do not be discouraged.  I am26 and married with our first child.  I think that my own husband had denial issues through my pregnancy.  It was not until recently that he started to enjoy being a new father.  I was just as hard for me too!  I had PPD and felt disconnected as a mother.  I think that if you give him time and don't pressure him may be when he sees his child his heart will be warmed.  However If this fairy tale senario dose not happen don't be bitter.  Love the child all you can and reasure that they are loved with or with out a father.  Stay positive!  You are not alone!

  • I went through the same thing when i was pregnant with my first child. dont let it stress you out because he might come around but if he doesnt just show your child that you will always be there for him or her no matter just like ur planning on doing. my first child didnt finally meet my son until last christmas which i believe is horrible. my sons father didnt believe he was his either but he tried to hide wen i wanted to give him a dna test.  he finally admitted that he was scared and just needed to grow up. its pretty pathetic to me i hate dead beat dads

  • I'm sorry to hear this! My husband doesn't even know his father but honestly he's a better person for not knowing him. I will tell you it was hard for him as a child but as he got older he became grateful that he didn't know him. I was givin up by my father so he didn't have to pay child support . Things happen and you can't force him to be in the child's life if he doesn't want to be but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing.  It'll be hard but it will make you a stronger person and this might be mean of me but make sure you get child support from him!!!!

  • I'm sorry to hear this disturbing news, but I share the same sentiment with many of the responses so far...there's so many possibilities from the father's perspective but the main focus is you and your baby.  Honey, God is able to do all things.  There's nothing new under the sun and trust me, many men have done this to women.  I'm 4 months pregnant now and when I told my boyfriend he was devastated, already having 5 kids of his own.  He said some things that hurt but eventually came around and now he's more excited than ever and can't keep his hands off my growing belly!  But I'm not saying this for you to look forward to your ex coming around, it's only a chance that he will.  You have to allow yourself this time to grow and bond with your unborn child to prepare yourself with whatever outcome you receive.  No matter what happens, you and your child will be together and you need to be prepared for the gift that God has blessed you with.  You can do it, with or without the father.  And your heart, I'm sure, has enough love to compensate for whatever your ex cannot provide.  Be blessed!

  • I cant even imagine how that must feel. But who knows maybe everything will change once his sees that beautiful baby. But in the mean time just focus on you and your baby and try not to stress about it even though i know it must be hard. maybe its not a good idea to be friends with a guy who would treat you like that either. to me it seems as though it would make it harder on you. I hope the best for you and your baby and for things to turn out better the way they should. Your baby deserves a good daddy Smile

  • My story is exactly the same! I have fought with myself for a long time, wondering what to do. I finally came to the conclusion: Who cares?! Its his loss and I am not putting my child through the torture of any tests or weekends and holidays away from me with a man who KNOWS he is the father but denies it because why? Who knows, but I know that showed me he wasn't ready for this beautiful blessing of mine! When she decides to ask about him, I have contemplated that. The memories of me going through that and finally able to meet my own father, only to find out he still didn't care, the pain I went through, I won't ever let her go through that. The father of my child has never contacted us, shows no interest in DNA testing or visits or even phone calls so I fell this way for those reasons-your baby daddy may be different. I have made my decision-to tell her I was artificially inseminated because I really wanted a baby and was getting older. The decision you make will come with experience and in time, and whatever it is it will be the right one. I am here for you if you need to talk because I felt and still feel the pain you are feeling.  ~Marissa & Cassidy Swaggerty

  • I am sorry that you have to go through this alone and that the man didn't want to be there, and i can't tell you that he will or wont come around but i can tell you that sometimes it's just as scarry for a man to find out you are pregnant as it is for you. And sometimes they only thing they know how to do is run. I know it's not fair and it's not right but that's how some people deal with things. If he does come around just don't dwell on the fact that he wasn't there for that first part, just remember that he chose to come back, if he doesn't, don't worry, I know it's hard doing it alone when you are young but that doesn't mean that you wont find someone to love you and your child. Just concentrate on taking care of your self and having a happy healthy baby and i am sure you will do just fine.

  • just stay strong baby girl im 11 weeks and my babys father is not around just focus on you and your baby god will never put you thru nothing you cant handle once you lay your eyes on that baby for the first time nothing else will matter i promise you ill be praying for you

  • I can understand your heartbreak at the baby's father not wanting to be in their life. Unfortunately, some people are incapable of thinking of anyone but themselves.  It has nothing to do with your ability to  be a wonderful mom!  You are going to love your baby more than anything in the world!

    You are still very early in your pregnancy.  This may afford some time for dad to turn his way of thinking around.  If he doesn't, you can't force it.  Remember, that this is supposed to be one of the happiest times in your life, don't let some small minded, selfish person steal this happiness away from you.

    You may want to check around to find some single mom groups in your area.  You may need support as you venture through this point in your life.  Best of luck to you.  You will be in my prayers!

  • Yes I m 20 nd me and my boyfriend been together for almost 2yrs and yesterday I found out I was 6wks pregnant,I have a 2yr old from a previous relationship and we were together for a few mths but he never deny his child so I figured in this situation it was a sure thing,but I was wrong
  • I grew up with a single mother. My mother always made sure that i was aware of how lucky i was to have my grandfather and other important male figures in my life. The advice i can give you is to have your child bond with a strong male model (a family member) that will be there for your child no matter what. This man seems to be very confused and the worst thing you can provide for your child is a daddy that is confused that will be coming in and out of their lives. A child needs someone that will be there in the good in the bad and in the worse. Especially growing up. If he is not going to be 100% for your child don't have him there at all; believe me you will save your child a lot of pain, guilt and questions. Be strong!

  • My child's dad denied him too, he stopped talking to me and got rid of his phone.  I didn't know what to do but after a while I ended up getting in touch with him again and he accepted it.  So maybe your baby's father just needs some time too.

  • hey i was 23 now but i was 22 when i found out i was prego and my guy did the same thing, in fact he broke up with asked me to leave his house that we were living in and told me that he didnt want o have kids with anyone he didnt want to be with or love. so he told me that it wasnt his and he wouldnt believe it. in the begining he would get pissed off at me and yell at me if i mentioned the baby and he even went as far as asking me to have an abortion.

    in my opinion he doesnt deserve to be apart of your or your babies life if he walked away from you during this pregnancy. this is a very tough time for you and if he cared he would stick around. i know its hard to think about but get all your ducks in a row and do everything you can to get child support, make him help by supporting you after your baby gets here. contact the department of human resources in the county you live in and they can help with it and in most cases they will do it for free. Go to your local health department and sign up for WIC it will help a lot trust me.

    You can do this trust me i know its hard im doing the same thing myself, in a state with no family, and living with a family that took me in because i was homeless. its hard but the outcome is so worth it.

  • I had the same scenario. I have polycystic ovaries and was not supposed to be able to get pregnant without fertility treatments. So when I did get pregnant, the father told me to "get rid of it" This being easy for him to say because he already has 4 kids & I had none with the chances of me having them not too great.  I decided to keep my son & I tried my best to get him to want my baby, he never did.  He told me from the beginning that he hoped something happened to my son & I.  He hoped the baby was stillborn.  Anything he could to hurt me to the core.  The whole 40 weeks that I was pregnant he made me miserable, he made me depressed, he made me feel like I was the lowest person on earth.  When the time came that I went to the hospital, he did not show up.  I sent him a text to tell him when our son was born & he ignored me.  I called and he didnt want to hear anything that I had to say and did not even ask if we were alright or if our son was healthy.  I decided that I would do it on my own and I was prepared to do so, but the father sent me a text a week after our son was born so I sent him a few pictures of the baby.  Ever since I sent the pictures and he actually saw our son, he has not said one disrespectful word to me, he has not denied his son, he has not said anything bad about his son.  So the point of my story is that HOPEFULLY he will come around at least after you child is born.  If my son's father was hardcore on not wanting this child, there's hope for you.  Although my son is only 3 weeks old, I do not push my son on the father, I do not try to make him do anything that he doesn't want to do, and I do not expect him to do anything.  Maybe you could try the same?  Let him do it at his own pace.  I hope everything goes well for you.  Or at least decent.  I felt the same way since I did not have a father growing up.  I did not want my son not havin a father.  Best of luck to you sweetheart.