Daddy Drama

  • Okay so im just gonna start off with the whole story and hopefully someone will be able to give me some words of wisdom... My boyfriend,Max, and i have been together for 6 months now. We met through work and fell completely head over heels for each other. ( well more me than him) After we had been together for a while, he leaves me for another girl, and that night i had a horrible car accident and was in ICU for 3 days. He however didnt come visit. Supposedly it was too hard for him. And according to my family i did nothing but cry and talk about him the whole time i was in the hospital. Well 2 days after i went home he calls crying saying he made the biggest mistake and he couldnt even talk to the other girl without calling her me.. ( how much of this i believe idk) Needless to say, i waited a few weeks to make him really see how me not being there for him really hurt. We eventually got back together and became insepartable. Less than a week later i found out i was pregnant. The hospital pregnancy test came up negative bc i was so early into the pregnancy and they gave me morphine and seizure meds and who know what else... ( everything turned out ok) Slowly but surely my bf started hanging around druggies and soon started doing xanax himself which made him exremely mean. He would yell and just be a plain butt.He was living out of his car. I used all of my savings to support him and i myself was on the verge of losing everything i had. I could tell it was going to tear us apart. We talked about it and he promised to stop but never did. Then one night he hit one of my friends in the mouth bc she called his mother a name. He never liked me hanging out with her but that still didnt make what he did right. The next day he got what he deserved from another guy. That was the end of retaliation though. I made him realize that even though he wanted to go kill that guy, he had to be the bigger person and stop. Be a man and start living right and become a real father. Since that day he hasnt touched alcohol, or drugs. He listens to me, respects me, we talk about every problem or concern, and he even rubs my feet :) But i wonder if it will stay this way.. Will we ever really be able to get our own place and be a family without all this nonsense? Has he really changed or will this part of him change too? We recently started hanging out with a couple who are completely awesome and we all get along really well and on the plus side drugs arent anywhere around so he wont be influenced.. (Fresh start for us im hoping!!) But it really still bothers me not knowing if we will make it. I think our bond has only grown stronger and i know he's not going anywhere. But have the addictions really gone away?  Is his child a good enough reason to stop and be a good parent? im hoping so...

  • Sweetie,

    my words of wisdom to you is to pray about this situation. Many people can give you advice or suggestions on this situation. However, it is merely up to you to make that ultimate decision. I just hope that you make the right one. Remember your child is more important than he is and as long as the child's wellbeing is taken care of. I just hope that you don't lose all that you have if he relapses again. Please think about your child first before you do Max!

     

    God bless you Wink

  • well mom to mom i think you need to leave him and have about life some where els . Its hard doing it than saying it belive me even harder  when you have kids with him

  • i have a 3 month old...and iv been goin thru alot of daddy drama too....but ditch him and find you a good man who will treat you right. its the best thing...i took my friends advice and found me a good man that i know wont raise a hand at a girl...you should never be with some one who would raise a hand at you or your friends!! if he raises a hand a a female then he's most likely guna do it to you!!! just find you a good man that loves you and your child. and that should be all that really matters!! good luck!!!

  • I am actually going through the same thing my Fiance is an ex xanax addict also.  Reality kicked in when I was about 7 months pregnant when he decided it was time for him to stop, and to be honest with you I was there to see him go through all of the withdrawls.  He in return has been with me and the kids for everything.  It is alot of praying and trusting. I'm not going to lie it is hard, but Love keeps us together. Through thick and thin better or worst.

  • No one can say for sure if he has changed or has turned over a new leaf...but you need to protect yourself and your child. If he shows any signs of abuse (either physical or verbal) you need to leave. You are responsible for the safety of your child and yourself. You need to provide a good and stable home for your baby to live in. I would be leery of anyone who claims that they have "changed" that quickly. True change takes hard work and time...maybe he is on the right path, but only time will tell if he will stay on it. Until then, talk to your doctor about the support groups in your area. You need to talk to a counselor and make sure that you have somewhere to go should he get involved in drugs again. It is not worth losing your child over...Talk to your parents and make sure you have a plan ready to implement should he get violent or hurt you. Please let us know how you are doing..I will pray for you and your baby.

  • Here is my strong advice, take it just as how it applies- each and every comment that has similarities to yours may benefit strongly from where it fits in their own lives; because it will apply differently to all.....  There is never a rainbow without the rain.  Appreciate your rainbow, they are beautiful however they appear, they don't last long visually, but that moment in your heart lasts forever.  Bittersweet...It is what ends up being right, just for you- Love to all, who know what a rainbow is, may you never have to experience the rain in the same way again.

  • If you love him, you need to trust him. If he is no good, and he keeps his old ways just leave him and start again. But if you are giving him the opportunity, you need to let go of the pass, don't talk about it and move on.

  • He sounds alot like my sisters husband, the guy will behave for awhile, but he allways goes back to his old ways which has recently caused my sister to have all four of her children taken by the state. Including her new born who didnt even get to come home from the hospital with her.

  • omg im sorry to here that