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Ok. Here's my story.
I am the mother of 2 very active children. thier father and I have not been together for over a year now and I have a new man that I love with everything I have. He even proposed on Christmas Eve and we were planning a wedding soon. He and the children get along GREAT and there is nothing that they can ask for that he doesn't try his hardest to provide. We found out a week ago that we are expecting a baby of our own. This will be my third child but his first biological baby. Here's the issue.......He hardly ever wants to talk to me about anything that deals with the baby. I try to start conversations with things like asking his oppinion about the baby's room, what his toughts and feelings are about everything but he will hardly even open up. I'm kind of at a loss here. The two of us had always been open about everything but now he seems to have clamed up. Even when we have conversations about every day life like "How was work? How were the kids today?" I always seem to get short answers. I'm actually hoping that it may be just that he's a little scared of the fact that he's actually going to be a father and not that it's something I did. I'm really lost......
Your feelings are probably right on. Many guys experience a bit of fear when they realize that they are going to become a father. He may be scared, nervous and a little uncertain as to what type of father he will actually be. If this caught him by surprise, he may be dealing with wondering how he is going to provide for the baby, money concerns etc... Even though he has been acting as a father to your other children, it is still a big difference when you realize that you will be having a biological child of your own. Give him a bit of breathing room since you just found out. Let him process the pregnancy for a while. He may also be scared to get too excited since you are still so early. After a few weeks have passed, try having a talk about the baby and the future and reassure him that he will be a wonderful father. Keep him involved in your prenatal appointments but let him get used to the pregnancy at his own pace.
I also think your feeling are right. My husband withdrew a little too when we found out I was pregnant even though we planned it. He is probably nervous. Once we had the baby I asked him what that was all about and he said it really took him a while to gasp the idea that he was having a baby and he was trying to mentally prepare for what was to come. All that and holding down a job made him very nervous and scared. When men get nervous they tend to withdraw, well at least my husband does. Make sure he goes to your appointments with you and continue to talk to him about it even if you don't think that he is listening. Trust me he will hear some of it, if not all. If he doesn't want to talk about it to much just ask him to rub your belly from time to time just to get him comfortable. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
i have been married for 3 years my husband never wanted kids as long as i have known him he has always said he was never having kids, i love kids and have always wanted a baby of my own, he wouldnt even talk about having a baby, then in may of last year unexectingly i got pregnant. when we found out the news he didnt act too happy. he didnt even want to go to the dr with me at first then finally he decided to go when we got to hear the heartbeat the 2nd time. he didnt really talk about the baby until i was about 6 months pregnant i think he got more scared closer the due date came. when our precious little girl got here he cried i had to have a c section so he did everything the first couple of weeks, and he acts like it doesnt bother him. i think the first time daddys are scared at first hopefuly he will open up when it gets closer time for the baby and especially if your baby is a girl that first look in her eyes will melt his heart i think thats what happened to husband...hope everything works out for ya
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