Feeling like a bad mom...

  • Im 29 weeks pregnant with my second child, my first child is a 2 1/2 yr old boy and he has been SUPER NAUGHTY lately! He has started hiting, pinching, and biting lately and I dont know what to do, I try and try time out but it doesn't seem to be making a difference. He has a huge problem with listening lately also, it's like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other, he ignores me. I know that it's prolly him testing his boundries because of the new baby on the way and because of all the changes that have been happening lately, but I run a home daycare and I can't have him hitting the other children all the time, and I can't let him just ignore me and not do what I tell him to do. He was an amazing little boy and he was super super good and I never had any problems with him and now he's done a complete 180...I don't have the patience to deal with his tantrums and hitting, I try time out with no success, and by the end of the day I'm stressed out and he is crying because I hurt his feelings, it's not good for either of us! Any advice would be awesome! Please help!

  • Seemed like my son had heard about the "terrible twos"... He also was the sweetest boy until he woke up on his 2nd birthday and he was a totoally different guy!! He too was a biter and the only thing that seemed to stop it was time, patience and sterness. When he bites, try not to get flustered (atleast don't let him know you are) tell him sternly that it is not o.k., don't have a conversation with him. If he is not staying in time out try putting him in his highchair/boosterseat where he can not easily get out. Also, have him apologize to the person he bit when he is done in time out.  Just keep following the pattern (he bites, tell him no, he loses freedom by being in time out, he has to be accountable) It will take time but he'll connect it all.  As far as the in one ear and out the other... my son is now 9 and that hasn't changed!... sorry! But as I said above try not to "talk about it" so much as it is happening, be shor,t blunt and stern, leave the conversation for after when he has recieved his time out and eveything has calmed down.

  • First of all...stop beating yourself up. You are not a bad mom, and the terrible twos really can be terrible. Talk to your husband and establish some ground rules that are absolutely unacceptable---like biting and hitting etc. Then come up with a plan that you and your husband will do EVERY time your son does those things. Try not to tackle too many things at one time..but in general the biting, hitting, scratching etc...is something you can definitely change. When your child does this behavior...take a look at what is going on at the time. Is he tired? getting over a cold? on medication? not getting his way? in a confrontation over a toy with another child? All of these things can create feelings inside of him that he is unable to put into words...thus the lashing out. When he hits, firmly pull him aside and tell him calmly that you are not supposed to hit. Then remove him from the situation and put him in timeout for 2 minutes. If the situation was about  a toy, then show him how to ask the friend for a toy politely. This will not change overnight and chances are...it will take some time to correct, but the key is to be consistent.

    Also, try to look at your child's behavior and really analyze what else is going on...is his diet any different? Many children have behavior problems because they are eating too much junk food, processed foods, sugary foods or gluten products. Also, analyze your behavior. It may very well be that your child feels like he doesn't get as much of your attention anymore due to the pregnancy and the home daycare. He may be acting out as a way to get your attention..after all, even negative attention is better than none. Try praising him and giving him attention when he is being good and playing correctly. This will make him want to please you in order for you to notice him!!