pressing for time

  • so i work everyday but one day during the week and during the weekend, the one day during the week all i want to do is spend time with my baby, so badly i want to do things for myself and things around the house, forget the weekend there is always something going on, my husband and i dont make plans to go out on weekends so we can do things at home but whether we want to or not we end up going somwhere because family always has something going on or something happens to a family friend that we have to go see or somehing else... AAAhhhhhhhhhhh i feel like i really dont have a break from the world, life is; yes it is 10 times busier. whats the best way to go about this, i am so frustrated at times i dont care to do anything but play with my beautiful baby girl.

  • I cant help feeling tired after work, and usually by the time I start waking back up in the evening my wife and daughter are getting ready for bed. Weekends are like yours - we always have somewhere to be or something to do. My wife and I came up with small tricks to help us find time though. For instance on Sundays we'll buy 2 papers, sit down next to each other and read them side-by-side. My daughter loves to tear up the pages we finish and it keeps her busy while we enjoy our time together. Try finding time in the "between" moments, they are shorter and spread apart but together they really do add up.

  • i think u should carve out time for yourself and your baby on the weekday u have off AND make some time on the weekend for family time. maybe its just a block of 2 or 4 hrs. but, make sure that u have some time on a couple of days where u can just lavish attn on ur baby girl. maybe u could go out for a walk or just hang out and play. i know stuff comes up w/family an friends. but maybe u can help ppl understand that ur new little family could use some quality time. it just sounds like u could use some being-a-mom time.

  • My husband and I went through the same thing when we got married.  After a month of running everywhere we looked at each other and realized that, because we didn't take a honeymoon, we had not had a single day completely to ourselves since the day after the wedding!  That's when we learned to say "No".  At some point your friends and family will have to realize that you have your own growing family now, and that spending time with your baby and one another comes before all the birthday parties, housewarmings, ect.  We both have Sunday off work, so everyone knows that before noon on Sundays it is just not possible to get a hold of us unless they phsyically come beat on the door, because that is OUR TIME.  If you can have even just 4-6 hours set aside on the one day you guys have off together it'll most likely make a HUGE difference.  It did for Adam and I and as soon as the baby is born I'm sure that time for our new family is going to become even more precious. 

    Do NOT feel bad about saying "no" to friends and family when it comes to what is best for YOUR family.

  • I agree with LeslieAnn, you have to draw the line somwhere. I think it's okay to be a little selfish with your time after the kids come along and others need to understand that your priorities have to be with your immediate family.

    Have you tried carving out, say and hour per day, to concentrate on chores or errands, so that you can get ahead of the little things and have more time to yourselves over the weekend? We usually save the laundry and groceries for the weekends. But if I can get part of the shopping done or pop in a load or two on Thursday or Friday, it frees me up a little over the weekend.

  • I'm with LeslieAnn also. Just say no. Unless it is a family emergency, say no. Turn off the phone. I have mine off most of the time. I would also check out the Flylady's website for house tips. She has a program that will help you get your house cleaning under control one baby step at a time.

  • I agree with the other posters that it's important to learn how to say no.  You need time to get all of your own chores done and time to spend with your family.  You shouldn't feel overwhelmed all the time.  Turning down the requests or invites may not go over well at first, but over time people will learn to accept it. 

    I'd also say that during your weekday off you should spend as much time with your daughter as possible.  Then when she's napping work on some of your chores and when she goes to bed at night spend some time with your husband.  It's very important that you two still have time together by yourselves. 

    I'm off on the weekends, but my boyfriend usually works now.  I stay up until he gets home and then we sit down and talk while we have a snack together.  During the week he gets home before I do (we both work 2nd shift) and he does the same for me.  We'll sit around and talk for awhile and then he usually plays his game while I check my e-mail.  The computer and game system are in the same room, so we are both able to do our own activities to relax before bed while still having the opportunity to talk.