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the is mine and my boyfriends first pregnancy. I am new to the doctor visits and all the people giving me advice. But my boyfriend want to do everything with me. I understand wanting to be part of the whole process but he seems to want to be in for everything even the apts that are just for me. He gets offended when I tel him he can't come with me and tells me I'm being unreasonable. I'm not trying to leave him out I just don't feel convertible with him being there, and his aunt is pressing met marry him while his whole family is mad that I'm giving the baby my last name and not his. they all say I'm trying to push them out but I'm not. any suggestions on how to deal with him and his matrons.
I am not going throug any marriage situation but let him be involved, because believe me there are a lot of men out here who hit and quit and when the baby comes they are no where to be found. If you don't feel comfortable with him coming to all the appointments just tell him it's only a girl thing and you appreciate his concern but you would rather go alone!!On the marriage thing don't let anyone pressure you into doing it if you aren't ready cause it won't last!! Now with the baby having your last name to me it really depends on the gender, I think that a boy should carry there fathers last name because that is his legacy or where he came from. Now with a girl it can be challenging because you are hoping she will one say marry and she will drop the last name she is given, but the choice is all yours and with a lot of women vary by scenario with the childs father if you all aren't married!! I am also pregnant with my first child, and I am expecting a boy due August !8th, but keep in touch with me and let me know how everytihing goes with the advice I gave you I hope that it helps. Hope all goes well with your pregnancy and that you have a healthy baby!!
I totally understand how you feel. I just had my baby Nathaniel on March 24th, 2010 and I am too a first time mom and married. Since Nathaniels came everybody wants to be near him. When I just want sometime by myself with him especially cause I'll be going back to work soon. And at first everyone got offened, but I just sat my husband down and told him how I felt and he understood, in fact he even told his family to lay off a bit. It's perfectly normal to feel what you feel, after all you carried your baby for 10 months... of course you want that extra time. Just try to understand too that if it's the first grand baby on both sides that has a lot to do with it and of course daddy wants time too. Just have to compromise. i know easier said then done.
OMG!!! I totally understand how you're feeling. I just had my baby Nathaniel on March 24, 2010 and I'm a first time mom, married and first grand baby on both sides. So when you say you want a lil time by yourself with your lil one there's nothing wrong with that. When Nathaniel was born everyone was all in his face, passing him from one person to the other playing kissy face.. Oh so annoying. I just wanted him to myself. So what I did was I told my husband how I was feeling and thank God he understoond, in fact he told his family to lay off a bit. Especially cause I'm goin back to work soon. And so advice for you just continue to be honest with your boyfriend and with others. They will either understand or not. As far as your boyfriend wanting to be part of everything be grateful that he's actually wanting to be there unlike most guys out there but let him know he's not always going to be there with you and that you need mommy time after all it's hard when you're tryin' to learn about your lil' one and having someone over your shoulder tryin' to tell you here let me do it. How else are you suppose to learn and bond with you lil one when someones constantly wanting to do it all.
Sry I'm new to this and thought my comment didn't post.
Hi I have been married for 13 years and have 3 daughters and last baby due on 09/17/2010 well my advise to you would be to always be honest and to let your boyfriend know how you feel. be open and honest about everything is really important so if you feel that way tell him but you should know that as well as you are going tru a lot of changes hes going tru some too just in a diffrent way and if he wants to be involve let him be. that should show you that he is a good men you should be proud of him because he could be like other dads that run off that shows you he loves you wants to go tru every new stage with you but in the other hand yes let him know that you need your space too and that there is going to be some places or things that hes not going to be able to do with you and he should understand and i believe he will understand and about the aunt situation dont worry to much about it at the end its no ones opinion is yours and if you dont want to dont do it you will know when you feel the time is right. and about the baby having whos last name well I think that if he is involve with everything that has to do with you and the baby and if he is going to be involve in everything I really think you should consider his last name because at the end of the day the person that is going to enjoy and be with the baby more is you.so that should not bother you. I know what am telling you i spend a lot of time with my princess and every moment is priceless. hope everything goes the way you plan....
My Husband was with me for every appointment for my youngest daughter and has gone to every appointment with this pregnancy. I know that my Dr. always asked me if i want my husband to wait outside if he is going to do a pelvic or check my cervix. I also know that my husband looks forward to hearing the heartbeats at every appointment, Is there any way you can comprimise on the doctor visits if you have your boyfriend present for the heartbeat and he has the opportunity to ask the dr questions? As far as pushing for marriage don't let any one talk you into it for the baby. It is so much worse for kids to be raised in a bad marriage than it is for them to have sperate parents who can get along with the best intrest of the kids always kept in mind
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