Should dad be out of picture?

  • wow i know exactley how that is. i will say just let him be while your pregnant so you wont stress as much then when you have your baby and when you think the times right then have him involved in your baby's dnt have too have him on the birth certificate,or ask for child support just do what you think thats best for you and your baby.


  • Leave him alone.  I do hope that this will not impact the relationship you allow your child to have with it's grandparents though.  Stalking and violence usually escalate in similar situations, mine did, be careful.  Good luck to you!!

  • Honestly i wouldnt have a thing to do with him. And i definently wouldnt let him be around my child. He seems like he is no good and hes already hurt you when you was carrying his child he is not anyone i would trust with my kid. Before i met my fiance i was with a guy for 4 years that would beat me pretty much every day for no reason at all(although there is no reason for a man to ever hit a woman) and it just got worse and worse. He could get mad at you for any reason and take it out on your baby and you dont want that.He sounds like bad news.I know the baby needs a mother and father but if he is like that the baby would be better off with out him. Theres plenty of wonderful men out there who arent pathetic low life woman beating bums and im sure you could find a better person to have around your baby. In the end your the only one that can make the decision for you but honestly i would forget about him.Good luck with your pregnancy and your baby and stay strong you will be a great mother.

  • I definitly think you should keep him out of the picture. Especially if he's as unstable as you say. You will be so much better off without him

  • right now he doesn't  what he wants to do. but if he's hurting you and doing other things to you then your better off without him. If you need food or help caring for your baby you can get WIC ( women Infants and Children) If you were my friend or sister i'm telling you  your better off without him. Think of your baby 1st, your baby comes 1st in everything

  • Leave him out of the picture. My son's father and I broke up right before I found out I was pregnant, and for a while he was fine with us being broken up and him being a part of our son's life. Then he got to the point where he said he wouldn't be a part of the baby's life if I wasn't with him, and he started giving me rules on how everything was going to happen. When I told him I wasn't going to raise my son by his rules, he stopped talking to me. He tried a couple times to get me to get back with him, and every time I turned him down, it wasn't his baby all of the sudden. Well, when my son was 6 weeks, I decided to give him a chance to be a part of my son's life. He and his dad came over and met him the day he turned 6 weeks old. Then about two weeks later he came over again. That was the last time he's seen him. He was supposed to come over last week, but he ditched his son for his fiance. If I could go back I would have never let him see my son.
  • well i grew up without a dad im 18 and in 28weeks hurt me when i couldnt go to father daughter dances and stuff like that but i turned out ok ull just have to explain to ur child that u did it for its own good.....i think u should falow ur heart Stick out tongue

  • It seems that most women in their heart of hearts know the answers to their own questions. The fact that you have stepped back and assessed the situation proves that your mothering instincts are strong enough to tell you that something is wrong. I believe there is a rythym to life which sometimes involves letting go of people, places and things and, from my experience, fighting this flow goes against your peacefull nature and most of the time causes turmoil. Good luck!

  • im in the same boat as you area nd it sux except instead of 10 months its been 10 years on and off and hes been in and out of jail/prison the whole time,when i got pregnant with my first child at 21 he was not there at all,and got locked up 3 weeks into my pregnancy i went and seen him as much as i could and took my daughter to see him too he told me all the right things when he was in there ,o i want to be a family and all this other stuff,he got out when she was 14 months old and was out for 8 months b4 he started messing up again,now im pregnant with my 2cd daughter and its just a rerun,not around and i also have a restraing order on him for the stuff he did to me and put my daughter at risk by getting put in the system too,now im just doing what i can to be strong and i told him i am DONE.i know he thinks i will be there this time when he gets locked up again and guess what i finally learned my lesson im not,i gave up so much for him and im tring to get all that back now,you can do it without him as hard as it may seem like you cant you can your a stong women and it will just be a reacurring thing in and outta jail and everything,do what u think is right and it will be the right decision in the long run,the baby dont need to be around all the drama and neither do u while ur pregnant,this is why god made it to where females had babies and not males because they are not strong like us,u can do it!!!!!!

  • nooo way should dads be out of the picture. My husband and father of my son has done great as a father.. yea it was rocky at first and still is sometimes. A few weeks ago we got into a really big fight i left the house to my mom house with the baby ofcoarse. Xavier, my son, would not sleep or eat or drink nything at all. i tried allth tricks i could thinkof...he would call dadadadada so finally i called my husband gave the phone for myson to hear and he was calmed long enough to sleep. 15 minutes later, all over again, finally i told him to come over that he's son needed him. Xavir slept on daddy's chest all night long. Not once did he wake up, he needed Daddy. Let me telly you about my husband. He gets impatient quickly with xavier, he is easily  walks away from cries, he will forget to chage his diaper, he forgets to brush hs teeth, feed him on schedual. Basically he is not perfect and me who i try to be perfect for my son... I do not hear cries when i walk out the door. Xavier will not sleep without his dad around and he cries if dad leaves.


    I strongly agree that it should not be the choice of the mother as to keep a dad around or not. If the dad decides to bounce than its on the dad. We have to remember that children will grow up and ask about everything. I would not want to respond with "oh, well your dad he was a bad guy I kept him away" beause that I meaning you... is the one responsible for the child not having a dad no matter how bad he was is or could of been.

  • He will not change. Consider doing what you think will keep you at peace. The added stress is not good for you or the baby. And it is about you and the baby at the moment.

  • It seems like he has a lot growing up to do and that's sad. Maybe one day he will but until then it's all up to you. Be strong you're halfway there. No matter what God is always with you and the best part is He'll never let you down.Wink

  • It looks like he has a lot of growing up to do and that's sad maybe one day he will atleast I hope for the childs sake.Your doimg good by leaving him alone he sounds like nothing but trouble and that's not what you or the baby needs now or later. Be strong God will see you through and the best part is He'll never let you down.Wink There is many more fish in the sea anyone can be a dad but it takes a man to raise one.

  • I would say ditch him, if he has hurt you he could hurt the baby, and you have to protect your little one from that possiblilty.  Sounds like your life will be better with out him anyhow!