mom is "doing too much"

  • hi guys.... i have sort of a strange kinda problem. my mom God bless her is such a great helper but i think she is like taking overboard here. how can i let my mom know im the one makin descisions about m y bay in a way she wont get offended?

  • Just let her know that she prepared you for this moment your entire life.  Everything that you know about parenting you learned from her and that while you may not always do it her way, you are trying hard to.  Tell her you need a little space to learn to care for your little one like she cared for you.

  • I agree with BabyNurse. It's not easy to express to your mom that she's overstepping, and even harder for moms to realize that they're doing it. Praising the education she gave you is a great place to start. Politely establishing some boundaries might be enough to clue her in on how her behavior might be seen as overstepping. If that doesn't work, try sitting down for a heart-to-heart to explain how you feel.

  • My mother in law is actually the one who told me this quote, "Accept 100% of advice on parenting, use the 10% that applies to you, and do what YOU feel is right for your baby and family".  If your mother is trying to help that's wonderful, but a gentle reminder that you're a grown up can help.  I took my mother out for lunch just the two of us and every time she started to lecture or give me advice I stopped her and told her that we weren't out as mother-daughter right then we were out as friends.  That helped because she realized that we can still have a close bond even though I'm an adult and need to take care of myself and my family MY way. 

    Hope this helps!

  • A lot of people want to tell new parents how to do it "right". Honestly most of the time I smile, nod, and go right on doing it our way instead. I think the 10% idea is really true, I rarely use much of the adice others give me but occasionally a gem lands in my lap that does help. If she is a real problem, talk politely and respectfully to her about it - I'm sure she too went through the same thing when she became a parent.