Sad when daughter doesn't come home

  • My wife's aunt will be a saint after she is gone. She retired to help take care of our kids while we are at work and does not charge one dime. In spending so much time with the kids, she has become very close with them, and my oldest, who is 3 1/2, likes to have a sleepover about once a week. The past couple of weeks, my daughter calls us with the help of my aunt and asks for another day. We always say yes, but each time, I feel sad because I miss my daughter when I don't see her for what becomes a three-day stretch. Am I being ridiculous, or should I make my feelings known? Please help!

  • Aww - what a tough situation to be in! On the one hand, how fabulous that you have such wonderful people in your children's lives to love and care for them. On the other hand, your kids are so precious to you and you want to be near to them as possible. I would talk about it with your wife for sure and maybe limit the sleepovers to one night a week or so. I'm sure your aunt would understand if you just told her and your daughter that you want to have as much family time with your daughters all together as possible since you have to be at work other times. Those early years before school are precious and go MUCH too quickly.
  • You should probably let your daughter know how much you miss her when she is gone. Then maybe next time she wants to spend the night longer, you could offer to take her somewhere "just the two of you". It may be that your daughter is enjoying the "one on one" time her aunt offers her. I know having siblings can be challenging, so try to let your daughter know how much she is missed and loved. If you think the aunt is encouraging her to sleep over more, then you may have to let her know that you appreciate her help, but that you miss your daughter too. Good luck and let us know how it goes.