His needs

  • Me and my husband are having our first child together but he already has a kid from a past relationship. But he is not lately been allowed to see her. The mother goes through her emotions every so many months. So he misses her sooo much. I feel bad sometimes telling him about the baby because i know he thinks of her all the time. I guess i need some tips on how to be more understanding with his needs. I love my step daughter but i can t truely understand how he feels about the how thing. And he not to much of a poor his feelings out type of guy. He will hold it in and put it out of his mind.

  • Sounds like your husband is going through a rough time. For starters, try talking to him and letting him know that you understand how painful his separation from his daughter is. Encourage him to talk to you about his feelings and let him know that you are there for him. Also encourage him to be an active part of your pregnancy. This alone may help him heal a bit. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  • Wow - sounds like a tough thing to deal with. Perhaps you can encourage your husband to send some pictures and simple letters of things that you all have been doing to his daughter. That way he can have some type of contact with her even if he can't see her. Another thing he can try is making videos of the computer with the camera and sending them to her mom by email. I don't know if the mother would even let your step-daughter see these things but it's worth a try. I agree, too, that involving your husband in this baby's coming will be a healing and helpful thing. Sounds like he is a good father and will be fabulous with your first baby together. :-)
  • Thanks for both of your guys input. I will give it a try to see how it works out. But the mom will not allow him with any contact weather it is through mail or email. i wish it could happen. right now all he gets is every couple weeks he might get a phone call from his sister lettinng him talk to her. but she is starting to forget him and thats the big problem. But we are by the end of this month going to court even thou she is not happy about it. My husband just really wants to be apart of his daughter life and teach how to grow. So be pryaing that court goes well and he gets to hold once more

  • It's a tough situation... I'm not sure there is anything that you can do with your man's previous daughter except support him. Your baby together will hopefully be doted on and receive the love for two children. Good luck to your family.

  • I'll be thinking of you guys! It's great that he wants to be involved in her life. He will be a wonderful father to your child, I'm sure. You two must both be excited. :-)