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ok. i'm 23, recently married (got mrried at 6.5 months preggo). my husband and i have been together for 3yrs. we have a newborn (7weeks old today) and i'm a Stay-@Home Mommy.
my problem is.. the last week or so baby has been super fussy cause of formula and tummy issues. plus ontop of that i've been way under the weather. i do my best at trying to keep our house clean and take care of myself aswell as baby even when my husband comes home from work. my day starts @4:30 a.m. and usually doesnt end till about midnight. when my husband gets home he likes to try and lightne the mood by making jokes or trying to cheer me up, but all it does is a.irritate me, or b. make me feel like he's picking on me... he never offers to take baby for 30 or less so i can catch a small break.... i'm tired of feeling like my husband doesnt care or is being selfish.. but i'm scared to say something to him....
what should i do??? i'm trying to keep from getting depressed or mad.... please help me!!!
The best thing you can do is to talk to your husband. One night when he gets home sit him down and talk to him about how his jokes make you feel. It may be that he doesn't realize how difficult things are or it may be that he has something on his mind as well. It is natural for a couple to go through an adjustment period after a new baby and it helps to keep the lines of communication open. Tell him that you need a break mentally and physically from the "baby care"...ask him to watch the baby while you run to the store, or take a relaxing bath. Most new dads don't realize what you need, so you have to tell him. Don't expect him to read your mind or know exactly what needs to be done. Once you have talked to him, you may find that things are a lot better!
Adjusting to life with a baby is REALLY hard for a lot of people and you have a lot of demands on your life! I have to echo MommyRN4 and say that many husbands are really unaware of what exactly you need and what will help you the most. Let him know that you need him to do certain things for you when he gets home, like a quick back rub or just spend 5 minutes telling each other about your day to connect. Also, my husband really appreciated it when we scheduled time where each of us could do whatever we wanted. I would get a break on Tues and Thurs afternoons for 2 hours while he took care of the baby and he got a break Mon and Wed afternoons where he could do whatever he wanted without me needing his help. Sometimes that can help too. Hang in there - it gets better!
i just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going for you. It was a few weeks ago that you posted, and so I'm wondering how things have gone. Would love an update,
Speaking for the hubbies, I agree with the previous posts. Communication is the key and I'm sure your husband wants to do what's right. For me personally, our first baby was a challenge because I had never been around a newborn before, so I deferred to my wife. More and more I became comfortable and was able to pitch in more. The idea of having alone time for a mental break is an important thing to consider. It's surprising how a simple trip to the store or a 30-minute cat nap can refresh your mind and recharge your batteries. We all need that as parents from time to time. So try not getting mad at your husband and have a conversation with him and explain your feelings.
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