fustrated

  • So don't really know where to start but i live with my boyfriend and both are parents live in the same town last Oct my parents couldn't afford to pay my car insurance anymore and they asked my boyfriend to take over insurance after her turned 25 and that was last Sept he says he will call and add me but then when he has time he changes his mind and goes back on his word i basically have to rely on my parents to drive be everywhere, they don't mind it most the time but i feel bad that if i need to go to store or want to go to there house they have to come get me. My boyfriend doesn't think i need to drive since everyone else does the driving for me. i just want to be able to go do something on my own and not rely on others it sucks. so on to another frustration i have is boyfriends mom gets very jealous that she only see are daughter like one a week or one every two but with me not driving i cant bring her to see grandparents she gets mad almost daily and vents to her son that she never sees the baby eric which is my boyfriend works 12 house shifts so its either 5 am to 5 pm which hes gone from 3 30 am to 6 30 pm and then he works from 5pm to 5 am so when hes working im stuck at mom unless my mom gets me. Erics mom never comes to get me and just complains but when i try to do make an effort shes always doing something else .so im not sure what to do about the situation. My parents are gonna be moving to wisconsin and they basically do everything for me and our daughter i want to move with them because once there gone im screwed but i also cant take his daughter away from him. one other thing is i babysit my friend ashleys son which hes the same age as my daughter and she recently started dating erics brother and erics mom has become a grandma to him too and when ashley needs a ride to work ot home erics mom is there in a instance to get her or do things for her i feel like she doesn't like me anymore because i dont bring over her grand daughter to see her my daughter know a year and shes my parents 2 to 3 days a week because they make an effort to se her anyone have any advice or words to make me feel better

  • I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time right now. It is tough when things aren't working out the way you envisioned. As much as you don't want to take your boyfriend's child away from him, if he is not able to provide for you and the baby on his own, you have a responsibility to your child to provide for her. If this means moving to Wisconsin with your family, then you need to go. If your boyfriend is really serious about being there for his daughter and for you, then he could move near you. It is a difficult decision, but one you have to make for yourself and for your child. Good luck and let us know how it goes. 

  • What a tough situation to be in. I'm sorry that things are so frustrating and difficult for you to deal with right now. Are you able to talk to your boyfriend about the situation with your parents moving away? Since he thinks you get rides all the time now, will he change his mind when your parents are no longer there to drive you around? I agree with MommRN4 - your first priority is your child. If your boyfriend will not allow you to move about freely and be able to care for her in an independent manner, you are stuck in a rather controlling situation. It's not good for your daughter to see that or be subjected to that kind of situation. Hang in there and let us know how we can support you. Get your parents on board if you decide to move to help you out. Hugs.

  • I Know the feeling of having to relay on someone to take you places. Its not too much fun. As for your mother-in-law, Mines doesnt not care for me too much she just tolerates me so that she can see her grandson. But She is still very disrespectful, and does childish things to make me upset. For example, she hangs up pics of my husband ex all over her walls. and takes down pics of me. I try to not let it bother me infront of her so I don't let her see that she is  wining over me. You have to stand your grounds and pick your battles wisely when its comes to stuff like that. And about the insurance i would let your husband know that if you are not willing to put me on your plan than you leave me no choice to leave with my parents and hopefully he will make the right choice.

  • you are in a controlled environment just where he wants you. if you are on the web venting about your frustration then it is obviously something that needs to be addressed.

    everyone in the world can offer advice but what you do with it makes all the difference.

    having been in a similar situation with my oldest child (now 20) I know what you are going through.

    you have to do what is right for your child and yourself.  but you also must be aware of the outcome of your actions. if you take your baby and move and he wants custody or visitation it WILL get expensive!

    Also I am curious why you aren't working? If your m-i-l wants to spend more time with her grandchild why not arrange for her to babysit so you can work? You could then pay for your own way and not be dependent on ANYONE!

    Best of luck to you, hopefully it all works out well.

  • i agree and my parents agree that im in a controlled enviroment too, and do work from home i babysit my friends baby that lives with im not gettin alot of money though i feel he makes more money than she says and she can only pay me 25 dollars day and his moms a nurse so her hours are weird but right know shes on a leave beacuse she has a hurt knee she can barly walk so thats y she cant watch her my daughter is know walking and moves to fast for her. i did recently just pick up a app for once upon a child so im gonna turn it in this week. and i agree on moving with me expensive

  • we had a talk the other day while he was at work it wasn't long but i explained to him about me having to rely on everyone i need to be more independent cuz if my parents are gonna be moving im not gonna have anyone to help me out and if things dont chnage i might have to go with them