In-laws are Sooooo Stressful!

  • My in-laws are so stressful—even for my husband. They recently divorced and now we feel put in the middle of their bickering and fighting! It has gotten so bad that we dread when either one of them comes to visit. How do we let them know that we want to stay out of their fighting? – Bonnie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • I'm not sure how your family works, but mine is VERY open about everything. When we're faced with those types of situations we simply say "This really isn't any of my business. I love you and I don't mind lending an ear if you need to vent, but it's not nice for me to hear my parents speak about one another like this. It is between the two of you and i'd prefer to stay out of it." you are all adults and you need to be able to stand up and say these things if you want it to stop. My mom is really good about not speaking badly of my dad, but my dad sometimes makes sny remarks about my mom and it's hard to hear him say those things about her. even if they are true... 

  • Oh families.  It sounds like you have a pretty balanced family Brinny-that is awesome.  There is so much to be said for kind and clear communication.  I think we all tend to walk a fine line at times, esp. durring times of stress.  I find it's often helpful to take a deep breath and step out of things for a few minutes when the pressure rises.  Focusing on the blessing of being together and adjusting of our own expectations can be really important.  

    -Jess

  • Thanks for the advice guys! It is getting better slowly...I think we just decided to stop "playing" along and whenever they say anything bad about each other we just ignore it and change the subject. If you want to spend time with us it is going to be focusing on our family and the kids, not on the negatives!

     

  • That would be better MommyRN4. Just change the subject whenever it is needed.