should i move in with the father of my child ?

  • My boyfriend and I have known each for a year and have been together for 9 months now. We're pregnant for the first time and due in June with our baby boy Gabriel. With taking on this whole new experience of being pregnant and knowing were going to be first time parents it has us pretty shaken up but, were ready for the long life responsibility ahead of us. All this has taken a bit of a toll on our relationship and we find ourselves arguing a lot more then usual with each other and to top that I cant seem to stop crying about everything. I know all couples and relationships have their arguments but ours have distanced us a little. No matter what at the end of the day we love each other dearly and want to make this work. I know both of us being scared doesn't help all that much but its to be expected. As far as our relationship goes we want the best for Gabriel over all. I'm more about keeping a my family together not verses him but just due to the fact that I didn't have my father growing up. Fortunately my boyfriend didn't have to go threw that but it has made me more sensitive to the situation because I don't want that for my baby boy. I live at home with my mother, grandma, and little brother. My boyfriend lives with his mom and dad. We don't live far from each other but I know having him around will be beneficial for the bonding process with him and the baby and hopefully our relationship. I ask this question because although he is my boyfriend and the father of my child ill have to admit the idea is scary. Not only is it scary but it saddens my mom that I might be moving out and she's not happy about it at all. My family all wants me here at home and thankfully my boyfriend is understanding of that and is behind me weather I choose to stay or leave. I know deep down my boyfriends home is more suitable for a baby but I'm still unsure about my decision. HELP !!??

  • First of all, congratulations on the impending birth of your baby boy. Parenthood is stressful no matter the situation, but obviously you have many difficult questions to answer and it is no wonder your emotions are all over the place. It sounds like you want someone to tell you that it is OK to agree with your family and stay home with them. Only you can make this decision and you need to trust your instincts. In the short-term, make sure you and your baby are healthy and that you are getting all of the medical and moral support you need. If you decide to live with your family while you sort out your feelings, that is your right and anybody that loves you and your son will need to understand this. Good luck!

  • Sounds like you have a lot on your plate these days - hugs to you. I think many couples have a big whirlwind of emotions when you first find out you are pregnant, especially if it wasn't completely expected. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to just be vulnerable and tell your boyfriend that you are scared about the way things are going. Hopefully you two can have some honest communication together and work through the issues you both are dealing with. 

    I'll be thinking of you as your sort through your decisions and housing questions. Remember that most of all, you and your son (and boyfriend if he choses to commit) are the top priorities in your life right now and, as hard as it is, you've got to do what is best for you all. Hang in there!! 

  • I really agree with what Julie said so far as it has to be the best for all of you.  I also think that there is a lot to be said for intuition and listening to what you know about yourself and your relationship.  I think we often don't want to really listen-but in your heart and your mind you have the answers.