So lost

  • So my fiance and I had been together for almost 4 years that is until two weeks ago. He all of a sudden just up and left and now he is with this other woman he has barely known a month. We have a 18 month old daughter and I am 6 months pregnant with our 2nd. I am so lost because this just came out of no where, I have absolutely no idea what happened. How could he just up and leave, giving up on his family.

    Has anyone else gone through something like this? I need some advice!!

  • I'm so sorry for what you are going through! Sad  My heart goes out to you, and your children.

    I haven't actually ever experienced what you are going through right now, so I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling.  But I have a very good friend who IS going through this same thing.

    Her and her husband were together since she was 17 (she is now 25)- they have 3 beautiful girls, ages 6, 4 and 2-1/2 months.  During her last pregnancy (which was a VERY complicated one) her husband told her he wanted a divorce (apparently with no reason.) Needless to say, that didn't help the situation. He later said he was just upset with how difficult the pregnancy was, he changed his mind.

    Then 2 weeks before their last little girl was born, he said he wanted a divorce again. He is a good dad to his kids, but for my friend, it's been an emotional roller-coaster. She doesn't know why he feels this way, he only says his feelings for her have changed.

    BUT--I will quote her here- she CANNOT change his feelings, all she can do is accept what is happening and move forward, if not for herself, for her children. They need their mom to be strong, more than ever now. So think of your children, which I'm sure mean the WORLD to you--focus on them--and never forget, you are a GOOD MOM!! Big Smile You deserve someone who loves and respects you for who you are, and who will stand by you no matter what--you will get through this!

    Lean on your family and friends during this rough time--and we're always here for support too, if you need a friend!! Big Smile Your family is what is going to get you through this....you might not be able to change his mind, but hopefully he will be there for your children! That is of utmost importance!!

    Again, I'm sorry, and my heart goes out to you--I hope sharing my story has maybe helped you a little bit. Visit back here often when you need some friends!! Big Smile

    Keep Your Head Up and keep moving forward!!

    angieb84

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. It is hard enough raising children and being pregnant without having to deal with the immaturity of a partner at the same time. While there are no excuses for his behavior, you must put your mind to it that YOU (for whatever reason) will be raising your children. Your daughter will surely need you during this tough time and you will have to be a solid figure in her life as well as your new baby's.

    If you have friends and family, now is the time to rely on them for support. We all need help and if your fiance can not provide that, then we need to rely on our family during times of emotional stress. Talk with your physician and watch for signs of emotional distress like depression.....ESPECIALLY after you give birth to your new baby.

    Good luck and please continue to post often...you will be amazed at the amount of support you can find here at Strong Moms..we are here for you.

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Going through major stresses during pregnancy is so hard.

    But quite honestly, if he left you in the first place for someone he barely knows, then you're probably better off. I left my husband when our daughter was just 10 months old, very suddenly, and it was a major turning point for my life. I was able to better focus on my little girl and get my life in order. I went back to school, got my degree, and worked hard to be able to provide for my baby.

    While you may be mega-stressed now, feeling the hurt because of his actions, and unsure of the future, I know you can rise above this pain and focus on yourself and your babies. Make sure that he legally bound to be financially responsible for his kids and get it in writing. Then lean on your friends and family to help you get through this stage and dare to imagine a better future for yourself. I promise that this lost feeling will pass.