dads ruin everything

  • My daughter is 6 months old, I am trying to get her into a routine of some sort.  Basically, play until about 8, get a bath and then go to bed.  Her dad hates it, refuses to help me get her to adjust, and it is one huge mess.  Other than this one thing I am trying to do she has no real set routine, I need her to have some form of regularity.  I have tried to get him to read different articles about routines and baby adjusting but he won't do it.  How do I explain how important it is, and get his help without having him scream and fight me too? 

  • You may have to do what I had to do with my girls' daddy. I set a feeding schedule for my babies, and scheduled naps, baths, playtime, etc. around the feeding schedule. If he doesn't want to read up on it or anything, then ask him to play with her and help do things around the house while you maintain the schedule for her. It's a little hard on you, but I managed with twins, and their father was always working overtime and sleeping. The bottom line is, once the baby has a set schedule during the day and gets familiar with the routine, you will be amazed at how much you can get accomplished and how you will feel. Good Luck!

    *~*What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice!*~*

  • In parenting, teamwork is needed. You need your baby's father to be on your side in order to sustain a stable and healthy environment for your infant. Try writing up a set schedule along with your baby's father, one that you both agree on. This way, once he sees it in writing and sees that your baby is set in a routine, things should go much smoother. Compromise is everything in a relationship, especially when you are raising a child. Hope this helps!
  • For starters, I would sit down and talk with her dad and ask him why he doesn't want her to be on a schedule. Does he feel like he doesn't have enough time with her? Does he resist the idea of "rules" at such a small age? Or is there another reason driving his resistance. Then try to explain that if you can get her to bed easily and at a reasonable time, then you will have more time to spend 1 on 1 with him. He may not understand what is driving your desire to get her on a schedule.

    Also, make sure that your "schedule" isn't excluding him from being involved. He may simply feel left out of the loop. Hopefully after a nice talk, you will better understand each others desires and be able to achieve a nighttime schedule that will work for both of you.

    Good luck and let us know what happens. Strong Moms is a great place to not only get great advice...but to vent a little as well!

  • While I can't agree that we ruin everything, we can sure frustrate our significant others! From a Dad's perspective, I'm not sure why he doesn't want to cooperate with you, but communication is the key here. Whatever the case, do what you need to do to establish the routine and work through the issues day by day. Otherwise, the advice the others have given seems right.