How can a father deny his child

  • im 20 years old and im 11weeks pregnant the father is not in our life, he told me he did not care about my pregnancy he doesnt want to know anything about the baby and he doesnt even think the baby is his... when he told me this i cried because i was so heart not only my heart but my soul because not to long ago we where so in love we wanted to be together, and spend most of our time under each other, i dont feel sorry for my self but iam sorry for my child to not have a father figure in his or her life, me nor the father had our fathers i didnt want my child to go through the same thing, sometimes i wonder is it just him being stupid and selfish rite now and wen the baby comes he will come around, i still see him from time to time since we have the same friends, but no words are really said between us, we seem to be friends but how can i be his friend and look at him knowing that the child inside me belongs to us.. wen my baby gets here he wants a DNA test but even if the test proves that he is the father will he be a father and be in my childs life.

  • A Father denies his child the same way a lot of mothers do...its not just men...but this guys should come around eventually when he realizes this is his child he...he is probably just scared right now.

  • This is true he may be scared Big Smile. I pray he is just scared. Pray about it doll. All you need is God.

  • There are many children in this world who would be lucky enough to have ONE parent who loved and cared for them. If your boyfriend does not want to acknowledge his child or his responsibilities, then there is not much you can do to force him. Just try to be the best mother you can be to your baby and give him all the love and attention he/she deserves. There are so many programs that can help you throughout your pregnancy and your motherhood. Take full advantage of all the opportunities that are out there and try to give your child the best life you can give him. It is up to YOU now....with or without the baby's father to provide a good life for your baby. You can do it.....stop thinking about the things your child WON'T have and realize that your child will have something truly unique and special....YOU.

  • It is better to have one wonderful parent than a parent who does not feel lucky to have them. Your child's father is denying him, perhaps for many reasons.....and it can certainly be fear. You are young and I am assuming you ex is young, as well. Having a child is a major responsiblilty and can be tough for a seasoned parent, yet along one who is so young. You will make a wonderful mother, with or without him. How does he treat you? The way he treats the mother of his child is pretty much how he will treat the child. Be aware and make the right choice...for both you and your baby.

  • when i was 16 years old the same thing happened to me i found out i was pregnant and the father didnt want to be involved in fact he had another girlfriend already and had got her pregnant and decided to stay with her and take care of her and her baby while me and son were left to rot but you know what i picked my head up and said im going to be ok im going to finish school and stay strong for my child even though it hurt me so much that he was out there taking care of another woman and their baby...i had my son and eventually started a relationship with my best friend we then got married had another baby and im actually expecting right now so keep your head up i know its hard you can get through it you have to be strong if he doesnt want to be in his life then that is his lost and you enjoy every single moment you can with your baby because trust me the time flies and they get big so fast...all you need is your baby and your baby needs you...you just need to make sure that no matter what happens your baby knows you love him...and who knows maybe you will find yourself a real man to take care of you and your baby because a take a man to be a father not a little boy like him!! just stay strong and keep your head up you and your baby are in this together for life and right now all you need is each other!!!

  • First let me say that I am so sorry that you are going through this...second always remember that God can work through you and this baby so get involved in church.  Show the father that you care so much for the baby that you are able to succeed...with him or without him.  God has blessed you with the care of this child...I will pray for you. 

  • I am sorry... It is a hard thing to hear the man you thought you loved say that he doesn't want the child. I became pregnant right before my 21st birthday last year, so I am due in may, but when I called the father of the baby he asked me why I didn't just have an abortion, he said he was not ready for this and that he wanted nothing to do with it. Well about the middle of the 3rd month he called back and had changed his mind. He was still terrified but he said that he had needed time to process.
    So my best advice is either wait it out, if you truly loved each other he will come back. Men are weird like that sometimes it just takes them extra long to process and the first thing that they will see is that this baby is going to end his happy young adulthood. Otherwise, I would have to say don't wait around wasting your energy on him; you have a wonderful gift inside of you who happens to want all the love you can give them. It will work out and you will make it either way :)

  • Don't count on it.  In this era we live in people (men & women) are self-centered and feel entitlement to have everything their way with no responsibilities.  My daughter's husband left when they found out she was pregnant.  No room for a baby in his life he says.  Selfish attitude!

  • Well Tina my heart goes out to you!  The most important thing is for you to stay strong for you and your baby!  If he is smart enough he would grow up and be a man to you and your baby!  The best thing is for you to be strong and take GREAT care you yourself and your baby!  I hope that you have your family supporting you......friends are there, but family is the one that's going to always be here for you and help you through this!

    Alittle word of encouragement......my "sperm donor" lets call him-because he in no way deserve the father title.....was a untrustable and hurtful person.  My Mom is better and her life is better because he wasn't there.  My life is amazing now and I have a step-father who stepped into that role when I was 12.  Our lives are better because my father wasn't there and because my step-father took on that role.  My Mom and I are best friends and I wouldn't trade that for the world!  If you have a great support system YOU CAN GET THROUGH EVERYTHING!!!!!  I am not in your position with my pregnancy and I am lucky enough to have a wonderful and caring man in my life and with our babies.....but I wanted to give you a perspective from another angle.  Please keep smiling and enjoy your pregnancy!  Look to your family when you are feeling down and I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy and your little one.  Worry about the two of you.....if he's the man he should be he will come around and see how amazing creating a life is when he looks at that baby and sees himself in there!!!!!  HUGS!!!!!  Wink

  • My daughter's dad did the same, and denied her and said she was someone else's. But once I had her...he knew she was his and never again 2nd guessed it.

  • It could be that he is just freaked out by the whole thing it could also be that he doesn't want anything to do with the child...But my sister has a 7 year old boy and his father has nothing to do with him and hasn't since before he was born...Her son is her life and honestly he is much better off not knowing his father and sadly  sometimes that is best (my father left my mother when i was only 5)...i know it sounds horribly mean but it is the truth...If he wants a DNA test done i say do it so if he tries to deny it then and not help out with the baby in any way you can at least get child support....I hope and pray that it is he is just freaked out and that he comes around to stand up. But until then keep your family and good friends close and take care of yourself and your child...Good luck 

  • I'm also 11 weeks pregnant. I'm so sorry for your broken heart. Things will get better, trust me. You need a real man, not a boy.Try to enjoy this very special moment in you life.

    2 words: child support. That's the responsible thing for you to do if he doesn't want to be a part of your lives.

    I wouldn't consider him a friend, he isn't being good to you, and I would loose that circle of friends too. (Birds of a feather) His problem.

    You and your baby are the most important thing. Don't forget that. Hold you head up high darling. Just be the best mother you can be. Anybody worth a grain of salt will do their best to help you, especially if you do the best you can yourself. Good luck to you!

  • Sweetie,

    Let me start by saying that I realize it's hard, you're  young and a lot of ways still a child. Please understand from one single mom to another that this is coming from the heart. We as women have to have a child for ourselves. This is your first mistake. Do not have this baby based on the fairy tale of mommy and daddy and baby makes three. Have your baby because you want him or her. If you don't you could limited your ablity to be the best mom you can be for your child. I now have a six week old son. I am 36 years old and I went through my whole nine months with no support for my pregnance. Guess what? I love this baby with all my heart and soul. I didn't worry and I didn't cry, I stayed focus on having a health baby. I was a little sad once I brought him home because the nights are long and hard doing it by myself that's why important to make sure you have your baby for all the right reasons because your strength will be tested along with your faith. Please remember through it all, that baby didn't ask to be here. You laid down and had it, so every chance you can give it, it deserves. Find it in yourself to give the love you have for it's father to the baby. Move on! Focus on giving all you have to give to that blessing that is inside of you. Please remeber that how you are during the next eight months will effect the baby. Put the drama behind you. Go to school so you can give that child a chance at a good life. As for you sperm donor it's his lost. Hopefully he will step up later on and if he don't GOD will deal with him, not you. I hope this helps and GOD BLESS YOU & GOOD LUCK BABY GIRL! I WILL KEEP YOU IN PRAYER......

  • I agree with the sentiments of many others... obviously, we hope and pray that you and your baby have a happy life together. That being said, the baby's Daddy is a wildcard, so you have to do whatever it takes to get the support you need as single parent. Good luck, ad coming to StrongMoms is one of many support networks you can utilize for this support.