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I am a 21 year old father of an amazing 6 month old son. He couldn't make me happier, but I've been having trouble with his mother. 3-4 months after he was born she broke up with me, but we're still living together. I'm really trying my best to be a good father, and still be good to her, but she just doesn't see it that way. I'm practically doing everything for him, waking up in the middle of the night, feeding, baths, packing diaper bags, laundry, picking up and dropping off at daycare and I'm with him all the time he's not at daycare and I'm not in classes. She still criticizes how I do things and says I always leave her with a load of things to do when she gets home. The two of them mean so much to me, and I'm losing an important part of me in her, I just don't know what to do.
why did you guys break up?
I THINK YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE MORE... AS HER WHAT ELSE DOES SHE NEED DONE, AND WHEN ASKING HER TO DO THINGS, DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE A NEED.. MAKE IT MORE LIKE A SUGGESTION... HOPE THAT HELPS...
It sounds like you are really trying to be a good father and you should be commended for that. If you want to make things work between you and your girlfriend, you really need to communicate with her. Ask her if she might be interested in sitting down to discuss your problems. If you can't talk together without getting angry etc..maybe she would agree to go to a counselor with you. Even if you can't work things out and stay together, you will still need to communicate in order to raise your baby. You will need to talk things out all throughout his life, so you both need to develop good communication skills now. Good luck
There is a great relationship book about how men and women communicat differently, It is called Men are from Mars Women are from venus... You and her should read it together it is a great book and very beneficial to the readers and brings in a whole new insight to relationships
You need to open the lines of communication. She needs to realize that you are responsible and you are taking care of your son. Why did she break up with you in the first place? You need to address those issues. Perhaps, it has nothing to do with the way you are for your son, but rather something that involves the two of you. Are you giving her attention, as well?
First and foremost, congratulations on your son and a very big "Way 2 Go" for stepping-up and being a Dad!!! There`s not alot of that in this day and I applaud you for that.I am 42 and getting ready to have a baby girl of my own.And I can`t wait!!! And I know that alot of the Mom`s might get upset with this one,but you can open all the lines of communication you want,need or have an option to,but if she is determined to be on your case about every little thing and you are actually doing what you say you are(And I believe You) then well,you`re just in a bit of a pickle!! It has nothing to do with your ability or performance as a father,It`s a control issue that the Mother has.She wants total control and will belittle you and dissagree with you on every little issue that comes up.She needs the counceling.And yes,it is a good thing for you to try and get along.Babies feel the tension between you.But it`s not always the Daddy`s fault.Go to counceling together,but stand your ground.If you don`t she will never let up.And remember,as long as you know in your heart you are doing what`s right and your baby knows you love him,nothing else matters!! Good luck!!
If you don't mind me saying... As a mother who often feels overwhelmed with a ton on my shoulders, Have you tried sitting down and talking to her about this ? It may feel like your doing alot already but maybe try sitting down and talking to her and finding out what it is that makes her feel like it's all on her, what else does she expect from you that your not doing ? You may find it to be more simple and quick things vs the more heavy duty chores of taking care of a child that you could do to help her out more.
A first child can be a huge stress to new parents in the beginning. I know you have heard this many times but communication is key. There can be many things going on with her, she may very well know that your a terrific dad and maybe feeling guilty about breaking up and is trying to justify her choice or she might just be overly stressed. You say she criticizes how you do things so politely (VERY) ask her to show you how or what is the best way to do it.( i know its hard to ask especially because you feel like you do it all anyway). It also sounds as though you guys need a little time away from baby (i also know this is very hard to do it doesn't have t o be long if you don't want to a couple hrs or so at first) and in that time away (first plan it with her as to when would work best for her) and help her with those things she feels overwhelmed with or simply go out to eat (you can say things like what do you think about getting (insert sons name) a babysitter and i can help you with (list things shes been wanting help with) cuz i know you do a lot and i want to help out etc) Take a deep breathe things will get easier you can do this. Make sure you guys talk about how you guys are feeling (IN A POSITIVE MANNER). good luck
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