What is the best way to get a jealous sibling to adjust to newborn baby?

  • Does anyone have any tips on how to get a sibling to stop being jealous. I have three children and my daughter is seven years old. She is in Florida with her dad and that is her primary residence. I had no trouble getting her to adjust to the fact that she had a brother when my second child was born.

    My second child is my four year old son. He lives in the household and since he found out that he had a baby brother coming he has been wishywashy. One minute he is excited and the next he hates the idea of having a baby brother.

    My newborn is only four days old. We have been home now four two and 1/2 days. The first day back my son showed his butt off. He talked back to us, said he was upset that I left him for two days and stated he doesn't care about the baby.

    I try to involve him as much as possible with his brother. A lot of times he refuses. He doesn't want to help and says he doesn't care about the baby. However this is not his typical behavior all the time. He does things when he wants to. So its an off again on again type of thing.

    His dad and I have been trying to explain to him that we don't love him any less than we did before and that his new brother loves him too. My four year old was our only little man in the house for four years and now we have two. I understand it will take him a while to adjust but what can I do to make this easier for all of us?

     Has anyone had this problem before and if so how did you deal with it?

  • Since your baby is only 4 days old, I have a feeling that your son will come around to him eventually. He is probably just feeling a little insecure and uncertain as to how this "new addition" is going to impact his life. Try your best not to make a big deal about it but ask him to help as much as possible. If your son refuses, don't push him or make him feel bad, just go about your business. You can also find ways to make your son feel better by reminding him "WHY" you love him so much. Kind of like..." It is so hard changing a baby diaper...I am so glad you are such a big boy and can use the potty!" or " WOW...I am so lucky I have you here to help me with the baby...I love you." Then when your son is receptive, have him play with and help the baby as much as he can. Good luck.

  • Thank you I appreciate your feedback.Big Smile

  • Time will solve most of these problems. A newborn is not an easy adjustment for anyone, especially other kids. Just be a sensitive mom, and things will eventually work themselves out.

  • I agree with MommyRN4. I have a son that will be 4 in April and also just had a baby boy on Christmas Eve. Before my new baby got here I really made my oldest feel like he was gonna be so much more important than ever because he would be a big brother and he could help if he wanted to but only if and when he wanted. He has done really good so far. One thing that we do also is we still make "mommie & Chase time"...Chase is my oldest. That is where my husband watches the baby and its just me and Chase no interuptions and its what he wants to do. We do this also as Daddy & Chase time. One other thing is if you live close to realitives or someone you trust you can ask them to babysit for an hr or 2 and you and your husband take your boy out just w/out the baby. Make sure and tell him these times are just HIS very own special times. My son loves it and he loves his brother. He has acutally become very protective of him. I hope this helps some. good luck my dear friend.

  • i have a two month old and a five year old my five year old the same way she was excited then not now that she is born she is so in love with her baby sister so proud ato be a BIG sister but is jealous lol the best thing i have found is to make sure to keep the older one involved helping mommy with the baby and how good of a big brother he is when the baby comes kids love to hear appraisal from a parent and mix that with the baby should get you by :) hope i have helped

  • i have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and one on the way. my 4 year old is happy to have a sister coming but my son is a mommy's boy, how can i get him use to the fact he will not be the baby anymore? well  he understand when the baby gets here?

  • As long as you continue to show him that you still have time for him and approach the new baby as a wonderful "addition" to the family, he should be fine with sharing your time. Try to involve your son as much as you can in the care of the baby and continue to remind him how much you love that he is such a big boy. Even designating a special time to sit and read to him while others tend to the baby will let him know how special he still is to you!

  • I agree, I'd continue to reinforce how happy you are that he's mommy's big boy. Take every opportunity that arises to offer praise and encourage him to explore ways to be more independent. And I think it's important to establish consistent routines now that he can learn to depend on once the baby arrives. If he learns to depend on the fact that he will get his one-on-one time with you at predictable times it will make him feel more secure. Simple things like story time before nap or talking about his favorite part of the day right before bedtime or playing ball after dad gets home from work.

  • Having a newborn is hard, especially for other siblings. Since most of your attention is focused on the baby (feeding, changing, etc.) he may be feeling out of place. Try to show him as much love as you can and take special moments with just you and him. I have a feeling he'll come around. Just give him time.

  • How are you doing now? Are things better with the jealousy issue? Hope all is well!
  • Hi

    I have 3 sons. Maekaiah who turns 4 in February, Jeshaiah who turns 1 tomorrow, and Zekaraiah who is 2 months old. When Jeshaiah came Maekaiah was great even yelled at the nurse to get out of our hospital room when she drew blood from Jeshaiah because she hurt his baby. lol. Now that Zekaraiah is here he is just as great but claims he don't like Jeshaiah but he just loves him. I asked him what that meant and he said "Like how you love me even when your mad at me but you just don't like me." I smiled and asked if he was mad at Jeshaiah. He said I am mad at both my brothers sometimes. They get more attention and I'm jealous. (he uses very big words for his age) For my oldest who is in to being the super hero and hardly takes off his spider man costume I act like I am completely helpless. "OH NO! Jeshaiah is crying what can I do!" and spider man shots that he is to the rescue! I also saved all Maekaiahs clothes and pass it down to my other boys which he gets a kick out of seeing them in and knowing he was that small once to. Maekaiah also forgot how to do anything on his own once the new baby came and I explain to him that if he helps mommy with the babies that mommy will be done quicker, the babies will go to sleep, and I can spend time with just him. Christmas is coming up so I try to take time to make crafts with him that he can give as gifts. Hope this helped.