stressed mommy who could really use some advice?

  • Ok so heres my sad sob story.....

    i just gave birth almost three months ago. i didnt know i was pregnant till eight months along. my son is doing fine ass far as we can tell so far. but thats not my issue..... my issue is im suffering from both depression and the baby blues. im currently seeing a counselor who says its mostly just situational which i will say thats true but i just dont know what to do anymore. the father of the child is still involed to a point but thats not his choice he wants to be involved in everything but im so confused about him and everything. it also doesnt help that at the moment im living with my parent and they dont like him at all anymore.

    so the father wants to be involved but we fight all the time.. i dont know what to do about him or anything cause first of al i dont feel i can truely trust him at this point in time. i'm still kinda afraid to leave the house and it feels like no matter what i do i seem to piss someone off. i mean i want to be with him but between his medical condition ( which i really cant talk about) and the fact that so much has gone one for me not to be able to fully trust him. my other concern is as weird as this may seem for me to talk about but he has a really strong drive and i dont have that big of one and he says i keep throw him mixed signals but im not meaning to and i just dont know what to do anymore.Crying

    if anyone has any advice i would really like to hear it.


  • It's okay to feel that way sometimes but not all the times in your situation you have to swallow your pride and be there for your baby and be a good mother (no saying your not). I think you could be a great mother . just when you feel like your about to explode just take a walk or read a book or take some alone time becouse i know exacly how it feels to be stressed out and angry .... but everytime i do one of those things i always seem to calm down and have a great day becouse at the end of the day it'll be all worth it....and about your boyfriend if you dont fully trust him then you dont have a fully developed relationship with him becouse to have a healthy relationship you have to have trust in your relationship then you mentioned he had a medical condition...so maybe that has something to do with the way he acts....but if your constantly fighting then ..i'd consider  maybe you two should take some time off from eachother but for the baby's sake i think you two should work out your differnces and stay in it for the baby.!!!! who knows maybe you two u'll get married someday and add to the family Big Smile

  • The baby blues canpass on their own once you get used to the changes in your life, but you will need alot of support. I am a first-time mom as well and the one thing I've learned so far is to trust your instinct. As long as your baby comes first as well as caring for yourself, all should come second. Try to bond as much as you can with your baby and it might help with the blues. It doesn't help that your parents don't approve of your baby's father. I wish I had advice about that. A friend of mine is going through that right now, the father just needed to prove himself to her and her family. I wish you the best of luck.

  • The most important thing here is that you have reached out and are currently speaking with a counselor. That is the first step to overcome post-partum depression. You should speak with your OB about your feelings, as he/she can offer other services that may be of help to you in your situation. Help is always available. You say you live with your parent, who is not accepting of your baby's father. Is there a reason? Perhaps your parent is trying to simply protect you and your baby, so you must take this into consideration. How old are you? Are you getting enough help with your child? You mention that the baby's father has a medical condition...is it something that will affect your child? You must do what is in the best interest for you and your new baby. We are here to help you as much as we can and if we can't, hopefully we can direct you to someone who can!

  • Hey sorry to hear your sad news and that your stressed out. I don't really have advice.  But you should really just focus on you and your baby boy, and I understand parents they always wants what’s best for you. My parents are involved in my life. It gets my Fiancé mad sometimes cuz I’ll be "My parents this" and "My parents that". I live with my Fiancé and he wants so bad to start our own family but I’m so close to my family. This is sad to say but I don't know much about his family to want them to be involved, and sometime I don't want them involved at all. But then I do want them there also, I guess I stress myself out with it because God gave me this little blessing inside me and I don't want to stop or stand in the way of the blessing for anyone else. I guess that won't really help you but I understand being stressed and depressed. This is my 2nd pregnancy, (we lost our first one), and so much want to be supper happy during this pregnancy but I worry all the time; even though this one is going much better then the last one. 

    I'm really sorry for you though and I hope your counseling helps. I don't want to sound preachy and if you have your own religion I don't want to interfere. But I have to pray everyday for God to help me with my Fiancé’s parent and this pregnancy. I would encourage you to pray it helps and there's no judgment just you and him. It helps me. Good luck with everything.

  • I agree with other posts... Your baby's well-being comes first, so make every decision with that in mind. Use your counselor to give you objective advice as per your situation with your boyfriend vs. your parents. You have had to deal with a lot of stress in a short period of time, so take a deep breath and don't let anyone push you in a direction you don't feel comfortable going. If you are doing what you feel is right for your baby, don't worry about pissing everyone else in the world off... your baby is worlds more important than anyone's feelings, no matter how close. Good luck and just take it day by day...

  • I agree with PediNurse...it is great that you are seeing a counselor. Continue to see your counselor often and keep the lines of communication open. If you are feeling depressed or anxious, make sure you let your counselor know so you can get the help you need. Talk to your parents and let them know how difficult things are for you right now. Surround yourself with a great support system so you can provide the best life for your baby. If you are uncertain about your baby's father, make sure you take a step back and take a close look at things. It may be helpful if you and your parents went to the counselors together....maybe with your boyfriend as well. Even if you choose not to stay with your boyfriend, he will still be in your life because he is the baby's father....so you will all need to eventually learn how to co-exist...for the baby's sake! Good luck and keep us in touch.

  • i'm 18. ya i am getting help. my parents are helping but i dont know why i feel the way i do. his medical condition can be serious but if it hasnt affected him yet then the chances of it affected him is very slim. my parents dont accept him cause he use to live with us and thats how this happen and because of his medical condition. i think.

  • Have you thought about taking him with you during a few of your sessions. Speak with your counselor and see what she says about that.