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Well trying this out to relieve some stress...been doing real good..I am almost 18 weeks..Not sure whether or not the dad is really going to be involved..I was not expecting this pregnancy but I am excited and buying stuff and love hearing the heart beat and seeing the ultrasounds..I havent really talked to the dad much bout the baby since i found out....I dont understand it alot of the time...I guess thats what i get for trusting him while he lives with his other baby momma...he doesnt want my parents to know its his cause he cant afford to live on his own and take care of me...half the time i think he is just to lazy to go out and get another job...but i dont care about the money..i never did..i have enough help with money and i am about to start another part time job...he doesnt know i already told my mom...sometimes i think he just want to admit its his cause he said he still wants to be with me...I just know he needs to figure things out cause im not gunna raise this baby alone and then him wanting to be with me when its a good time for him..he always says he wants to be there with his kids and doesnt want to miss anything with them...well news flash you are having another one..and i live at home with my mom so when the baby is born he isnt gunna see it cause he doesnt want her to know its his...i just dont think it makes any sense..i know he is scared and it wasnt planned but you have to learn to adjust..i have been really calm bout everything..i think i am too nice
I don't like to push into other peoples issues, but you did post, so i'm gonna reply!
Don't let this go on much longer. YOU need to decide what is going to happen here. I mean really decide, you have a little time before baby comes so be prepared before he/she does. If he is not taking responsibility, it's up to you. The two of you is all baby has to rely on, and he/she is counting on you for everything security, love, stability. There are ways other than mommy and daddy living together to make a family work, but both partners need to be involved and responsible.
Don't focus on what he says, focus on what he does... i live with the belief that anyone can say anything they want, but you can't fake actions forever. You're not being too nice, you're being too passive, there is nothing wrong with being a nice person, there is something wrong if you're being too passive about the future for your baby. At some point you need to find a little more strength and demand he sit and talk with you. You need to make decisions and if he wants to be part of this he has to as well... I'm talking clear cut, no confusion, decisions. Although you should be respectful of his other children and "baby momma" he shouldn't keep you in a situation where you feel like you or your baby are second best by dragging you along because he won't make choices. Good luck and know deep down in your heart what you are doing is right, if you can't feel that... something is wrong.
I completely agree with the other women that wrote. You cant let him play games. I can tell you from experience that you will probably get different answers throughout the pregnancy. Me and my boyfriend crumbled under the stress while i was pregnant but when my son was born we made it work and now we are doing great. You definitely need to talk to him now and the real test will be when the baby is born. Good Luck!
been there:( and you dont need him!!! trust me :) as soon as you get strong and start ingnoring him, he will come around more and more. Just act like you don't care. He kinda sounds like a player so play smarter ...... but you have the greatest gift of all growing inside you.
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