need to vent

  • lets go back aug 2009.... i moved to deleware from pa leaving friends and family members behind...didnt find out i was 5 months pregnant until november 2009 had a baby 9 months prior to that and was getting blamed for getting preg. again....cant find a job anywhere i have A HUSBAND WHO DOESNT LISTEN or care im expected to get up w the baby and take care of a 14 month old while he sleeps his pretty head off and get my seven yr old ready for school at 6:30 am whom has adhd i have no friends down here and its feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. any type of words of encouragement would help greatly right now bc im obviously not getting it anywhere else. thanks for ur time just needed to vent its been building up for a while.
  • Hi, I'm sorry for your frustrations and pain right now. Sometimes people(men/husbands) can be so cruel and insensitive. It takes 2 to have a child/ren. The only thing you can do is be strong for your kids and for your sanity. I'm dealing with a turmoil myself and I can't say it's worst or not but it hurts and it's hard and I just pray that you'll get through this as I'm sure you will.

  • You sound like you have a lot on your plate right now. I can certainly understand your frustration, but you need to find a way to talk to your husband and tell him how much you need him to be there to HELP you right now. Many men don't really understand how difficult it can be and they don't understand what truly needs to be done...so TELL him. If he can't support you, find others (friends) who can. I am glad you are here on Strong Moms and you will certainly find a lot of women in your position and who want to help. Good luck!

  • I'm sorry to hear that. Find enjoyment in yourself and your kids. Things can only get better. When everyone is sleep. Steal a moment to yourself and take a long bath. I would say when I was pregnant no matter how hard it was, when I was feeling down if I got up and got really glamed up I felt so much better! I think it could be the same for you!  You can be there for your kids if you aren't there for yourself.

  • Hi i agree with anxiously waiting. Your children and yourself are top priority. You didnt just wave a wand and get prego your husband knows that. You will pull through and things will get better.

  • There is no other way to describe that but sometimes Husbands S**k. I understand your frustration on the moving part. My wonderful husband relocated me to a whole other country/continent. The no friends part is pretty hard but look around and see if there any mothers morning out programs ( that will give you a little sanity time to yourself) and also look and see if they have a MOPS program. The MOPS programs is for mothers with preschoolers..they base it on the age of the child...there will be other mothers there going through the same thing as you are and you might actually meet some friend that way. There are usually support groups for mothers of ADHD children (find out from your peditrician) and that is also a way for you to meet other mothers that are going through the same experience you are. Lastly sit down with your husband and clear the air. Let him know how you are feeling, as far as him blaming you for the pregnancy...you didn't do that by yourself...it takes two to tango and obviously he brought his dancing shoes. As far as the job thing goes don't worry so much try to work from home like selling things on ebay and you can suppliment your income that way. You can always contact me I will always lend an ear if you need to vent believe me I have been in your shoes. :)

  • How incredibly strong are you.  It is so easy for others to judge another persons life style and not show any support for them.  My words of support to you are how amazing is it that you have brought three beautiful lives into this world.  Times are going to get overwhelming, but someday you will look back at those days and be like "Wow, I am so amazing to make it through that and what a wondeful road life has been."  I know this because my grandma had 4 babies in four years.  She had some financial support from her husband, but it was a time when the men did nothing with or for the children until they were old enough to work the fields.  They lived off of less than $5.00 a week in groceries.  I asked her about it and she said to me that it was the most difficult time in her entire life.  She was overwhelmed, people though she was crazy and she was so angry with her situation.  It was hard to get up some mornings.  Now she looks back and has 11 grandchildren and 4 great grand children and every morning when all 4 were sick, every non disposable diper and 3 am feeding was so amazingly worth it, even without suppor, because she would not be surrounded by love and support now if she hadnt been through that then.  Keep strong, and I will pray for support to find you emotionally:) 

  • I understand totally. I have 3 children, 5yrs., 4yrs., and 5months. My husband has a job but when he came home he would  completely shut down and the kids just wanted to play with daddy. All i can tell you is that it will get better if you truly fell you are with the right man he will eventually come around, mine did. Just have a little more patience. Keeping a good frame of mind is key to be able to get through the day. Just keep smiling and when you need to...vent!!

  • I understand your pain.  i some what went through that when i lived down south, that's where i had my first son.  father and i wasn't married but everything was on me.  he had anohter family to see after.  so that lefted me really by myself.  now i'm married and had two more boys and another boy on the way, but whatever you do don't give up on your husband, pray that God would change him and see that it takes two make a baby, and you really need some help.

  • I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through but remember that you are not alone. so many of us have gone through alot of the same including myself. One of the best things I did for a father who just REFUSED to listen was I sat one night after everyone was asleep and wrote everything down that I was feeling for him to read when he woke up. Not only did it give him insite into what was really going on but it helped me feel a little better myself. Alot fo the time men (either boyfriends husbands ect..) don't desire to actually physically listen to other peoples problems even though you are having or already had his baby. Believe me it may take a little bit for him to turn around and see what this has been doing to you. Maybe if he had it in front of him in black and white he'd "wake up" and see what you truely ned from him. Just know that you will make it through all this. Keep your head up (even though it's hard to sometimes) and do the best you can. You will eventualy make it through.

  • Hang in there.  I agree with another mom who suggested you write down your feelings and what you need from your husband.  I know I often let my anger run my mouth, and if I write it out, I can edit it and really get to the point.  Don't forget to sweeten up your request, men love to feel needed and appreciated, and even if you are feeling nothing but anger right now, buttering him up won't hurt.  I can only imagine how hard it would be with 3 little ones, because my children are very far apart in age, so I applaud you.  Motherhood is the hardest job in the world, and all we can do is our best.  Let your husband know you are really doing your best, and that you think he is too, but that you feel you need more help and would appreciate his input on a plan that would work for everybody.  Best of luck.