I am feeling so blue

  • I just had my 3rd daughter a month ago.  It's been almost 13 years since my last pregnancy.  I thought since I am older now and more "settled" this would be easier, but I had complications which have left me with alot of physical pain, which in turn is causing emotional pain.  I have been pretty much house bound, because my pelvis had some separation, and though I can now walk on my own, I waddle, and it is painful.  I can only sleep flat on my back, and fear this may be forever.  It is not at all how I envisioned my maternity leave, which will be up in a few weeks.  I planned walks, and exercise, and fun outings which are rare since I normally work full time.  I don't want to talk to any of my friends, because I fear if they know how unhappy I am, they won't understand.  I lay in bed and silently cry at night, wishing I could roll over on my side.  My husband keeps his distance in bed I think so he doesn't "bother" me, but I feel so alone.  Doctors say this could take months to heal, and may never be completely healed, and I feel any future pregnancy is completely out of the question.  I wonder if I will ever be able to be able to have sex without excrutiating pain anyway.  I feel so alone, and know this is selfish, because there are people suffering all over the world and I should be thankful for my healthy baby girl, but I can't stop the tears.

  • It certainly sounds like you are going through a lot right now and it is understandable that you are depressed. Talk to your doctor to see if there is anything else they can do to help improve your quality of life right now. He may not truly realize how miserable you are. Also, talk to your husband about ways he can help you feel better. Maybe do some fun things indoors--like have some friends over for a game night or maybe rent a few fun movies to watch with your hubby. Try to enjoy your time even if it is difficult. You should talk to your friends and let them know what is going on...you need support and friendship right now more than anything...if you can't lean on friends when you need them the most---what good is having them. Hope you feel better soon..glad you are on Strong moms.

  • Hello, I just wanted to tell you the way your feeling won't last forever. I know it's easy for me to say but it's true. Most people will not understand the way you feel. Time will make it better. It worked for me. I know that we may not know each other personally and I may not have felt what you feel. I felt so sad after I had my daughter. I had one son who was six at the time and had major complications with my daughter that forced me to take a early maternity leave I didn't want to take. I was in the hospital more than I was at home. After I had her I was so sad and all I did was cry. I didn't talk to anyone because I didn't want anyone to know what I was going through or how I was feeling. I was feeling hopeless. After time passed it just all went a way. I just hope that you start to feel better. I know how it feels to be sad after you have a baby and things didn't go the way you planned them. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself and feel better.

  • Hi. Just a couple of suggestions to you. Please talk to your husband. My husband is wonderful but I realized a long time ago that he needs to be told because he cannot read my mind or just pick up signals. Second, unplanned things always come with pregnancy. Maybe you can change your plans and do new stuff. I hope you feel better soon