Very overwhelmed please help!!!

  • Hello All,

    I'm new to the community and this is my first time writing on a message board but I am truly exhausted mentally. This is my first pregnancy and i am in the process of trying to get my fiance in to united states from Haiti. Normally this was not a big deal as i would travel back and fourth but after the earth quake and me discovering that i am expecting our fist child we really began to contemplate about me delivering and my fiance not making it to the delivery on time. Now i am due in October and we are at the last step of the process with his visa application but the problem lies with the fact that they are asking for proof of income and support . The problem is i do not have a job as i was living in Haiti for 2 yrs and due to the earth quake i had to move back. I do have my LPN license but i cant seem to find a job i will be graduating in June with a degree in Health Care Administration but yet nothing and to add to our issues i was recently diagnosed with a low lying placenta and have been ordered to take it easy. I have no idea what to do now I'm exhausted and i cant think anymore. My fiance has told me to just calm down and stop stressing he will eventually make it here for the birth but i think he is just saying that. Can someone please help me stop stressing my sister says it's because it's my first pregnancy. 

  • It does sound like you have a lot going on. I just had my first child a month ago and I was so worried about the labor process. I spent a lot of time trying to look on line to try and figure out what it was going to be like. I can't say my husband was not there because he was but I can tell you that if your fiance is unable to be there you will be no means be alone. The nurses are wonderful and so helpful, they go out of their way to make you feel relaxed and supported. I would say if you have to go it without your fiance tell your nurses about your anxiety and they will do all they can to compensate. As far as labor itself I was beyond terrified and I can't speak for anyone else but it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, just relax and try to take it all in because before you know it, its over. I am sorry I don't have any advice about the legal issues:( Have you tried getting a local legal advocate?  Good luck and try to stay calm it will all work out and you will have a beautiful baby and all in all the labor is the easy part so as long as he is there post delivery you will be good:)

  • I can understand the stress you are going through, though my circumstances were not the same. You're sister is right to a point, with all that you are going through just with the job stuff is stressing, the earthquake and the fright of what could have happened to those you know there is stressing, just trying to get a loved one through all the red tape of the government is stressing. Being pregnant while going through all of that only compounds the stress.

    Be careful of letting it get to you, you already have a small complication, don't let the world make it worse. Remember "what will be, will be".

    If you're fiance cannot physically be with you in delivery, try a web cam conference when the birth happens. You both will be able to see and hear each other for support and he will be able to see his new child right after birth. Even if web cam is impossible try having him on the phone for the actual birth, you can always have someone else make a video if he wants to see the birth itself.

    Try looking at it this way. Whether he's there or not, eventually he will be with you and will be there for both you and the baby. So no worries. Stress can complicate a pregnancy or even put it in danger, which is what happened to me. But there is a silver lining to these dark clouds.

    Hope it all works out for you. I will keep you and your new family in my thoughts and prayers.