i could use some advice..

  • I really dont know what to do :( im seven weeks pregnant and the father of the child seems to have cold feet, im sure he'll come around but im scared and i dont know what to do. does anyone know the best way to handle a situation like this? anything will help.

  • I want to start off by saying Congrats on your pregnancy!  It is perfectly natural for you and the father to be scared when you find out, because honestly it is a bit overwhelming at first, just the flood of emotions that go through you both.  I know it was for my boyfriend and I. My situation was different than yours is now, however I have seen friends in similar situations, and based upon that I would recommend talking to him about how your feeling and see how he is feeling.  Also keep him in the loop on what is going on with your body and baby and invite him to each doctor's appointment.  Try not to smother him or over do it...it could ultimately push him away. Sometimes it is hard to believe that this miracle is really real until you hear the heart beat or see the first ultrasound.  Look into a 3d/4d ultrasound for later on in the pregnancy..it is the most amazing experience for both me and my boyfriend.   I hope everything works out for you, and best of luck to you and your little one.

  • Only time will tell how the father of your baby will be. Finding out that you are going to be a parent is an overwhelming experience - even if you are thrilled. If the pregnancy is unexpected, it can send some men into a bit of a paranoid state. He may be worried about being a good enough father or how he will be able to provide for the baby. He may be uncertain as to what is expected of him now...etc. Just try to focus your energy on the baby and doing what you can to make sure the baby is healthy and taken care of. Don't pressure your boyfriend into anything or give him an ultimatum. Just let him get used to the idea that you are having a baby..he just may need a few months to process things. Continue to keep him involved and encourage him to do things with you....but let him have some space to come to terms with the idea that he will be a dad. Good luck and welcome to Strong Moms.

  • I am 34  weeks pregnant and I have been in the same position as you. My fiance took the news well and things started off good with us and the pregnancy. But as time pasted he didnt quit grasp the idea that it was time to grow up and get ready for our little one. He still felt like he could go out and party and do what ever he wanted. I dealt with it for a while and realized that i needed to do what was best for me and my baby. I made a hard decision to break it off with him since he wasnt realizing what it took to be a dad and a good husband. It didnt take long for him to realize what he had lost and wanted to be back in our lives. Things are better now that i have talked to him and told him what i expect from him and what our baby needs out of him. The father of your baby needs to realize it took two to make that baby and its time to step it up. Whether yall are  together or not he should be apart of the baby's life. Hes the father and he cant take that back, Sit down and have talk about how you feel about the pregnany, the good and the bad. It could help him to know what your thoughts are about the pregnancy.

  • My husband and I were married for 7 months when I got pregnant. We wanted kids but wanted to wait about 2 years when he was out of his program in school. So when I got pregnant he was freaked out. He was freaked out for pretty much the whole first trimester. It was in the 2nd trimester that it felt real for him and he was more okay with it. By the time I was in my 3rd trimester he was actually excited for our daughter. Honestly I was kind of freaked the 1st trimester. I just could not believe I was pregnant. It did not feel real. After the ultrasounds and we were told the gender I was so excited.

    You have to do whats right for you. Maybe he just needs time to wrap his head around the idea of it. My husband wanted kids someday, but never thought past it. Now with a 2 month old he is amazed we have a baby.

  • Just hang in there girl he will come around I think all men get cold feet its just a big step in eveybody life thats all. Even my husband was in shock when he found out I was pregrant they will come around. When they start going to the doctors appointment with you should just see how there faces glow because they start realizing its a gift so dont worry and congrat on your bundle of joy that your about to bring into the world.

  • How do you mean he has cold feet...Is he avoiding you, breaking up with you,etc? Honey if he can't handle the fact that he helped make the child he doesn't deserve you nor the baby to be in his life....find another guy that will love you and your baby....

  • It is totally normal for father's to feel anxious/even distant at first. We have two teen boys, I'm 43 and he's 53, and we NEVER expected to have another child. It just happened...God's plan I suppose. My husband was very quiet and withdrawn at first. I am 10 weeks now and he is finally coming around. I freaked out at first too!!! In fact, I continue to freak out but I know it will all be okay in the end. Just keep your communication flowing....even the unpleasant stuff...it will keep you growing together and make you stronger and closer. Good luck!

     

  • Sometimes it takes the guys longer to come to the terms with the pregnancy. Give him some time he may just be overwhelmed with it all. But make sure in your later months you include him in with the bonding of the new baby. And ignore any of his negativity its just his way of saying I'm scared and I don't know any other way to respond.

  • they say that a mom becomes a mom once she finds out that shes pregnant, and a dad becomes a dad when he sees the baby! Men handle things way different than us women do! if i were you i would give him some time to get used to the idea! he'll eventually come around! keep your chin up, and dont stress, its bad for the baby!!!

  • You need to hang in there for the baby.  The Dads always get cold feet but the moms have to be strong.  Start making plans about how you are going to provide for the baby.  Start setting money aside for after the baby comes and for the time you will not be able to work. If you have a car payment try to get ahead on the payment by two months.  You can do this by paying a little more each month untile you have to stop working.  Do not stress yourself out. Most importent  do not nag the dad about the baby let him come to you. 

  • I think dads in any circumstance get a little overwhelmed.  My husband and I have been married for about two years now and we just found out last week that we're expecting our first baby.  I was ecstatic!  He was so excited the first few days and then reality hit ...MAJOR responsibility...  We're both finishing up our masters degrees, we're doing alright financially, and we both want children.  You'd think there wouldn't be much cause for concern.  But, I think most men worry about whether or not they'll be good fathers. 

    It might be a good idea, the next time you talk to your partner, to express how much you understand his concerns.  You know this will change both of your lives forever.  You two made a big decision and it's understandable to have a moment of questioning. Just remember that what we do with our situations  will have a greater effect on us than the situation itself.  Good luck with everything!