Soon to be a single mother

  • Hello all. Well this is my first pregnancy and i am almost 3mos. Unfortunately, my boyfriend & I split up before i found out of my pregnancy. As soon as i told him, he had no reaction or comments. We have little contact, and when we do the conversations are o.k. I am scared to think I will be a single mother. Any advice?

  • I am sure you will do fine. Stay healthy. Biggest advice. Get a paternity test and file for child support, your child and you deserve that much. :)

  • I went through the same thing and am happy to say I am a single mom of  a one month old.  Yes, it is hard at times, but I always remind myself there are much harder things that people go through daily.  My advice build a support system of your family and friends.  You will be amazed at how they will support you once the baby arrives.  Other advice cook and freeze meals prior to your due date.  I still have meals in my freezer.  Go to yard sales, buy off craigslist and reach out to mother's you know to see if they have baby items you can borrow or have.

    Best of luck and know once you see your little bundle of joy it will all be worth it. : )

     

     

  • HONESTLY iF YOUR BOYFRIEND ND YOU DONT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. THEN LET IT BE THERE IS A REASON WHY IT HAPPEN.. ND ITS BETTER TO LET IT BET THAT WAY THEN TO TRY TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE WID SOMEONE WHO IS JUST GOING TO BRING DRAMA. IF HE HAS NO CARE FOR WHAT YOU TOLD HIM BOUT THE PREGNACY THEN HE ISNT WORTH IT. ND ITS GOING TO BE JUST PROBLEMS. TAKE MY ADVICE ND JUST DO AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR YOUR BABY. ND REMEMEBER THAT YOUR BABY SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST AT ALL TIMES. YOU CAN DO IT.. IM HEADING YOUR ROAD.

  • I have a 5 month old and i left my childs father the minute i found out i was pregnant. He basically got angry at me b/c i didnt wanna get married or be w/ him. And LONG story short he moved out of the state when i was 5 months pregnant. So i've basically have been on my own thus far. (knock on wood) And in all honesty, I wouldnt want it any other way. Being a single mom is hard. I wont lie, but it is also AMAZING!!! I dont have to include anyone else with decisions that are made regarding my daughter, I dont have to deal w/ any BS or Drama, and I can focus just on her w/ out him getting in my way. The thought being a single parent is scary, its a HUGE responsibility. But if you take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. YOU CAN DO IT! And you'll love and enjoy every second of it. 

  • thank you all for the encouragement! Big Smile

  • thank you for the support!

  • the man i was seeing when i got pregnant left me the day i told him about the baby i am no w 9 months pregnant and i haven't seen him since i was 10 weeks pregnant, its going to be hard but you can handle it i was raised by a single mother who was the greatest you just have to be strong and let your baby know that no matter what you are there for him/her, also rely on your friends and family if you need help. and if you dont have the address for where the father is you cant get child support, also most states wont let you put his name on the birth certificate without his consent and he has to sign the certificate. also without his name on the certificate most states will not give you child support even if you have his address. and yes a paternity test can be helpful however without his consent you will most likely not get one.

  • I was a single mom to my daughter for 3 years.  It was not always easy especially since you never seem to get any break but you can do it.  If you have family and/or friends in the area, turn to them.  Trust me that you will need them.  I remember once trying to call the nurses line at the hospital and my daughter would not stop crying.  I picked up the phone and called my sister.  She couldn't even hear me but knew something was wrong and came running.   I'm now pregnant with my second and have a wonderful supporting finacee (not my daughter's father either--although she says she kinda has a dad but just calls him Ray).  BTW she has yet to meet her real dad- has asked a few times and I just say that he couldn't seem to take care of himself.. let alone her and maybe someday he will be able to do that but in the meantime she's got me.  Good luck!

  • my sons real father is a dead beat dad honestly. we split 3 months after my son was born because he couldnt step up and take care of us. A guy i have known since i was 7 years old (im only 20 now but he was my first crush) and i got together when Austin was 5 months old and was "daddy" for 2 years before we broke up. He still takes him all the time and buys him things and spends time with him. He doesnt have or want any other children because to him that is his child. I am now with another guy for almost 2 years and we have a little one on the way due in july. I wasnt a single mother for long between the guys but when i was it was actually nice because i made all the decisions and had only my son to focus on and to love. Your childs father may not want to be in the picture, but i believe u can do it alone, and one day if u do settle down again, keep in mind the guy u get with better love ur child like his own or hes not worth it. theres real men out there that would love to step up and take care of your child and even men that want to adopt the child. my ex (that one that has stepped up the past 4 years) wants to adopt my son one day and make it official that hes his daddy..

    But good luck with everything and remember daddy or no daddy ur the one that matters the most that ur child needs and will always love. :]  plus theres always consequences to your actions.. for the dad.. theres child support Big Smile

  • Being a single mother is hard I will not lie to you one bit. But there is nothing in the world more rewarding than knowing that this child is yours and that they love you unconditionally. I am a single mother of 3 beautiful daughters ages 17, 15, and 41/2 and am now pregnant with my 4th child. I thought that the man that I got pregnant by was gonna be a stand up kind of fella. He portrayed himself as a good guy. He took me and my older children out to dinner treated them for their birthdays and all but in the end when I told him that I was pregnant he told me that he could barely afford the one child that he had and we have not spoken since. I have physically raised my 3 other daughters by myself. no child support, no additional help just me and what little help from my family, (thank God for my mother). We have to make sacrifices and give up a lot of things but the love of your child will never let you feel like you lost out on anything my daughters are excited about the baby coming and they are more than happy to let go of an occasional trip to the movies to give me a break from the little one that is coming. LOVE YOUR CHILD AND THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE.......GOD NEVER PUTS MORE ON US THEN HE KNOWS WE CAN HANDLE!!!!

  • I want to add that almost 80% of women go thru pregnancy alone and that what makes us stronger :) just worry about ur baby not him....friends and family help out more then the own father most of the time.just keep your head up and we will support you! good luck with baby!

  • While being a single mom will be difficult at times. It's bound to be better than being with someone for the wrong reasons. There probably were some very good reasons for your split. Although, sometimes seperation helps those see what they are missing out on. So, be strong and take it day by day and make decisions that are best for you and your little one's future. You CAN do this!!!  And, even though you  may be single now you never know who you will meet along the way. Good Luck,

  • I am currently in the same position. Me and my daughters father broke up the day before i found out i was pregnant. At that time i was already 2 and a half months pregnant. The best thing u can do is at least offer to let him be apart of the babies life. Because as much as we like to think that right now is all about us, it's not. It's about our childs health and happiness. All children need both parents. If he doesn't wanna be apart of the doctor visits and shopping or whatever u need done to prepare, then u need to take the necessary steps to ensure your baby is taken care of.

    Good Luck