How To Make "Daddy" Feel Appreciated.....

  • Okay guys. I need help on this one! I'm 25 weeks pregnant, and though my wonderful fiance has been completely supportive of everything that has gone on during my pregnancy, I feel as if I've been rather unappreciative of how wonderful he is! Here are some examples of what he's had to deal with... 5 Weeks Along: I go to the Dr. thinking I have food poisoning and come to find out, I'm pregnant! This was a major shock, because I'd been told that I had endometriosis so bad that I'd have to have surgery to remove some of the scar tissue before my ovaries would be clear enough for an egg to pass through. Anyway...since I'd been vomiting for about three days at this point, my primary care physician (not my OB) admitted me to the hospital for dehydration for the next four days....all of which my fiance stayed by my side except for going home to shower and check on our dogs. I mean, we just found out we were going to be parents...I wasn't in the best emotional state. LOL! 12 Weeks Along: Along with nearly constant vomiting, I got up in the middle of the night to pee (which I didn't usually do, but we all know how out crazy bladders are during pregnancy) and stubbed my toe. I work up the next morning to find that I had actually jammed the toenail down into the side of my toe and had to go to a podiatrist to have the nail removed (Gross, I know!). So, for about a week, I couldn't wear shoes, and had to wrap my toe with gauze and that first aid tape that doesn't stick to skin, but it'll stick to itself. Plus, I was walking oddly, so I basically laid on the couch all week. 16 Weeks Along: I developed a kidney stone (probably from not being able to drink as much as I needed to due to the vomiting)...which of course hurt like CRAZY! So there went another week or so of laying on the couch! 19 Weeks: I have three bulging from a car wreck I had during my senior year in high school and the pressure of our growing little one made it hurt more-so that it usually did (which of course, I had to come off of my muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory meds when we found out I was pregnant). So, I ended up having to have a cryo type procedure done where they freeze the nerves around the area of the pain in your back and hip area. So there again...a few days of just laying around. 23 Weeks: ROOT CANAL!!! Good God, no one told me that it would hurt more afterwards than it did before. So, he basically had to fix me the only things I could eat...jello, mashed potatoes, pudding, popsicles, soup, etc...). 24 Weeks: Since I've been vomiting for MONTHS now, the dehydration got so bad that I started having contractions...which was not good seeing as how Owen (the baby) has been in the head down, birthing position since 18 weeks. So, I was given different, stronger nausea meds and told to drink, drink, drink and eat something besides toast (it's the only thing that would stay down) or my OB was going to admit me again to pump fluids in me and stop the contractions! So...I'm basically on bedrest! The entire 6 months so far: He's cleaned up vomit, kept our finances in order during the times I couldn't work, he's taken care of our dogs, gone to every Dr.'s appointment, etc.... In addition to all this, we all know how our hormones can make us act the complete opposite of our normal selves and they've certainly been on a roll throughout all of this...so I know he hasn't deserved any of the attitude I've given him over these past few months. So...(this was much longer than I intended) my point is, how can I make him feel appreciated during all of this, even when I feel like hot poo??! Haha!
  • I have some of the same problems myself...my boyfriend doesn't even want to be around me in fear of losing contact with our baby once it is born because I've had such depression and other illness issues throughout my pregnancy (but it's been the worst the last month and a half or so). The only thing that I could do is write him a letter expressing my feelings, frustrations, etc. as this is my first pregnancy and he has three grown children from his marriage. I thanked him, told him that all the craziness wasn't all me (mostly hormones, lol) and that I was sorry about all the bs that happened. Since he is not the one pregnant (though I really wish he were since we'd be rich, lol) I'm quite sure he has no way to deal with the way the pregnancy makes me a completely different person. Thank God pregnancy is only 9 months!! Hope that helps you some! Smile

  • You'd be surprised how much a little "thank you" will mean to your fiance! Sometimes all it takes is just a little recognition of the "crap" our guys have to put up with during pregnancy. Let him know how much you appreciate what he's done for you so far and how much his support is helping you through this sometimes not so fun experience. Sometimes guys are just so happy to be becoming dad's and they are in such awe of what their woman goes through that they really don't mind going the extra mile to make sure you're comfortable. Remember you're carrying his baby!! And maybe it might not hurt if you got him a "My Dad's better than your Dad" onesie or something like that to remind him of what an awesome dad you think he's gonna be!! Wink

  • I understand you are on bed rest but there are still many things you can do to make him feel appreciated. First, tell him. Thank him for all of his support and TLC. 

    second- try to arrange a surprise guys night out with his best friends. Let him know you want him to go out and relax for a little while as a thank you for all he has done. 

    third- ask another  family member or a friend to pick up a to go order for you from his favorite restaurant. Have dinner ready for him when he comes home and sit back and relax together. 

     

    No matter what you choose always make sure you tell him just how special he has made you feel. Let him know that after watching him take everything so far in stride that you think he will be an amazing father.....

     

    Best of luck!

     

  • WOW!  I can understand how you feel and you're right--men should be appreciated.  Well, perhaps do some small things for him such as a nice note/thoughtful card. Has he mentioned a movie or a program that he would like to see? Offer to take him to it.  Have you done any shopping for the baby?  Get him involved an see what he'd like or what you both can agree on. 

    Hope this helps!

    Sarah

  • Wow...it sounds like you have been through a lot and your fiance obviously is very appreciative of everything you are doing to carry his child. Still, he needs to know that you are thankful for his support. The best thing to do is to sit him down and read him this email. You said everything you felt here for us, so try telling him all of the things you have noticed that he has done for you. Let him know that even if you don't show it, you love him and appreciate him. Sometimes all you need to do is say Thank You...chances are, you will have to do little else!

  • hi my name is mayra i am new to this how would you handle a husband that want intimacy when you can't have it bacause you are pregnant or you just had a baby 3 weeks ago.