Dad feels left out

  • Can anyone please give me some advice to help me with my husband?  We have a little girl that is 5 months old and he feels like she doesn't like spending time with him like she does me.   Sometimes she will sit with him and then sometimes she won't.  If she is crying while he is holding her if I go pick her up she stops.  She stays with his parents every day and he feels that she responds better to his dad than she does him.  Can someone please help me that might have went thru this with their husband. 

  • It's really great that he wants to share in the bonding experience you're having with your daughter. I think you guys should keep doing what you're doing, making sure he's a strong presence in her life.

    Right now, she's too young to realize that when she doesn't see the people she spends the most time with, they don't disappear from existence. That's likely why she feels better when you pick her up. But as long as he's spending time with her and she knows he's there, their attachment and her reliance on him will grow even more as she develops.

  • Its a stages sort of thing. Early on my daughter loved me holding her. Nowadays if mom's not around I'm still good, but otherwise she'll run to her over me every time. Just have him keep up his presense, encourage playing games together without your direct involvement (not that you dont have to be there, but try letting them play while you watch). And keep an eye out you dont feel left out either, eventually she'll divide her time equally but for now she'll probably always prefer one parent over the other.

  • We have dealt with this too, and are about to go through it again. I am pregnant with what we found out today to be our third girl! My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage who is 15. Our daughter will be 6 in a couple of weeks. When she was first born, my sister lived with me, and she bonded easier with my sister than she did with me (her mother). I had a hard time with that, but was told that when they are that young, their communication levels are based on their senses. She could sense my insecurities of being a first time mother and the stresses I had were picked up by her, whereas my sister was just an aunt again and had no stress surrounding her. Then, my daughter grew to be a few months old and all she wanted was mommy. Daddy felt very left out. But, he kept playing and holding her and doing anything he could to be present for her - even though it made him feel bad. Eventually, she became a daddy's girl, as most little girls do. She cuddles with him at night. She plays video games, rides quads, and washes the car with him - anything to spend time with him. However, if mommy leaves just to go to the store, she wants to be with me. Sometimes she wakes up in the morning and he's there to get her dressed (I go to work very early in the morning), and she will throw a fit and refuses to get dressed until she calls and talks to me on the phone. Other times, I will ask her to go with me to the store, and she says she wants to stay with Daddy. I agree with the statement made earlier that it is a phase and that Daddy needs to keep his presence known and let your daughter know how much he loves her and wants to be part of her life. It is a girl's perogative to change her mind, and little girls will go through so many different phases - sometimes she'll want him and nothing else, sometimes she'll want nothing to do with him. As long as he always lets her know what she means to him, he'll never lose his place in her heart which can never be replaced by anyone else! It's hard, but being a parent is not easy and breaks our hearts quite often, but we keep going and keep giving, because we love them!

  • Iam having the same problem. my husband is getting frustrated our 7month is doing the same thing to my husband. but he doesnt understand iam astay at home mom so shes going to have that bond. he sees her a couple of hrs a night. cause of work. my daughter has a bond with her grandfather more. all you can do is let your husband have more time with her a lone,tell him to keep it up dont get frustrated. shell come around.